I just don't know about so much in our life right now…
First and foremost I had my 7 day post IUI blood work yesterday. My progesterone was 10.2 this cycle, which is up from 9.3 last cycle- but still not very high for a medicated cycle.
I feel like I should press this issue with my doctors as to why my progesterone still isn’t rising. But with so much else going on in our lives -continue reading for more on that in a moment- I have chosen to take a back seat for now and let what will be- be.
I'm happy with up. Up is better than down so I will take it. We won't know anything for certain for at least another week. So there's one thing I just don't know about. Add it to the growing pile of unknowns..
I am at 8 days post IUI. I tested yesterday and it was negative so the trigger is out. I don’t plan on testing again until 10 days post IUI- Thursday-… and even then that may not reveal anything it just may be too early.. Currently I feel emotionally drained and fatigued. Add it to that pile..
The other thing is - to make a very long- very private story short- Rob is no longer employed. Let that sink in for just a moment... For what its worth Im not sure its totally sunk in here either..
He resigned from his position of 11 years yesterday after making a bad judgment call and being given the option to resign over being fired. People make mistakes and I am sad that they didn’t give him a second chance. I stand by him – I have made mistakes in my past as well...and I am positive I will make mistakes in my future- I am human.. Life will go on and move forward.
A friend wrote to us yesterday and said- "Man may not forgive your mistakes but God does."
I’m not what one would call super religious- but I do have strong faith. I pray often and I believe strongly. This quote really stuck with me yesterday. Maybe man didn’t give him a second chance- but I’m sure there is a reason for this—we are yet to see it, but we will in due time...this is one thing I can say I am sure of..
This is going to be a very difficult time while we navigate unknown waters and pray that our faith carries us through. I know that God has a plan and I know that there is a reason that silly things like this happen.
I have found a lot of strength in our wonderful support system of friends and family- and my husband- who did the right thing and admitted to making a bad judgment call- to making a mistake—when most people would have lied- and probably kept their jobs in doing so… my husband did what most would have not done- he told the truth. I respect that because it takes a strong man to own up to his mistakes.
I thank you all for your hugs and thoughtful messages. To say that I am stressed out is the understatement of the century. I am already hormonal and emotional—and stressed out--add this to it and I really could spend hours just crying. I won’t- but I really honestly could.
I know that all things happen for a reason and I know everything will workout. I know a year from now – I have no idea where we will be exactly- but we will look back at this and understand exactly why this happened..
I wasn't sure how Rob was going to feel about this cycle once we found out he was no longer employed. Lets be real- having only one income is not the most opportune time to become pregnant and start a family.. I know this.
I also know that God has a sense of humor and I have a feeling that this is going to be the cycle because we only have one income- you know that’s how things work out. You try for years to get pregnant- and BAM when your life is turned upside down- well ya know…
Rob called me right away and told me to switch our insurance over to my name so that our infertility treatments and medical care continue to be covered without issue.
Then when I found out my progesterone levels were up and told him - he held steadfast in continuing to hold out hope for this cycle.
I just don't know what we are going to do, where we are going, or what is going to happen- what I do know- and what is truly important.. is that our faith and friends and family will carry us through whatever is ahead of us.
|Flowers bloom their best after a little rain..|