Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Flowers bloom the best after a little rain..

I just don't know about so much in our life right now…

First and foremost I had my 7 day post IUI blood work yesterday. My progesterone was 10.2 this cycle, which is up from 9.3 last cycle- but still not very high for a medicated cycle.

I feel like I should press this issue with my doctors as to why my progesterone still isn’t rising. But with so much else going on in our lives -continue reading for more on that in a moment- I have chosen to take a back seat for now and let what will be- be.

I'm happy with up. Up is better than down so I will take it. We won't know anything for certain for at least another week. So there's one thing I just don't know about. Add it to the growing pile of unknowns..

I am at 8 days post IUI. I tested yesterday and it was negative so the trigger is out. I don’t plan on testing again until 10 days post IUI- Thursday-… and even then that may not reveal anything it just may be too early.. Currently I feel emotionally drained and fatigued. Add it to that pile..
The other thing is - to make a very long- very private story short- Rob is no longer employed. Let that sink in for just a moment... For what its worth Im not sure its totally sunk in here either..

Pile overload..

He resigned from his position of 11 years yesterday after making a bad judgment call and being given the option to resign over being fired. People make mistakes and I am sad that they didn’t give him a second chance. I stand by him – I have made mistakes in my past as well...and I am positive I will make mistakes in my future- I am human.. Life will go on and move forward.

A friend wrote to us yesterday and said- "Man may not forgive your mistakes but God does."

I’m not what one would call super religious- but I do have strong faith. I pray often and I believe strongly. This quote really stuck with me yesterday. Maybe man didn’t give him a second chance- but I’m sure there is a reason for this—we are yet to see it, but we will in due time...this is one thing I can say I am sure of..

This is going to be a very difficult time while we navigate unknown waters and pray that our faith carries us through. I know that God has a plan and I know that there is a reason that silly things like this happen.

I have found a lot of strength in our wonderful support system of friends and family- and my husband- who did the right thing and admitted to making a bad judgment call- to making a mistake—when most people would have lied- and probably kept their jobs in doing so… my husband did what most would have not done- he told the truth. I respect that because it takes a strong man to own up to his mistakes.

I thank you all for your hugs and thoughtful messages. To say that I am stressed out is the understatement of the century. I am already hormonal and emotional—and stressed out--add this to it and I really could spend hours just crying. I won’t- but I really honestly could.

I know that all things happen for a reason and I know everything will workout. I know a year from now – I have no idea where we will be exactly- but we will look back at this and understand exactly why this happened..

I wasn't sure how Rob was going to feel about this cycle once we found out he was no longer employed. Lets be real- having only one income is not the most opportune time to become pregnant and start a family.. I know this.

I also know that God has a sense of humor and I have a feeling that this is going to be the cycle because we only have one income- you know that’s how things work out. You try for years to get pregnant- and BAM when your life is turned upside down- well ya know…

Rob called me right away and told me to switch our insurance over to my name so that our infertility treatments and medical care continue to be covered without issue.

Then when I found out my progesterone levels were up and told him - he held steadfast in continuing to hold out hope for this cycle.

I just don't know what we are going to do, where we are going, or what is going to happen- what I do know- and what is truly important.. is that our faith and friends and family will carry us through whatever is ahead of us.
Flowers bloom their best after a little rain..

I know we have no control over anything at this point. Rob is applying for work both near and far. I am working on breathing, sleeping, eating and working as much as I can.

So if your the praying type a simple prayer for strength for our family during this time
would be wonderful<3


  1. I am just sending you more hugs:-( I could say that everything happens for a reason, I could say that everything will work out fine but when you are sitting in the middle of this type of turmoil it's hard to believe that anyone could possibly know how you feel.

    You and Rob are going to be amzing parents because you walk the walk. Honesty is such an important trait and one that is lacking in our society today. I am sorry that Rob's honesty came with this conclusion. I really believe in my heart that new doors cannot open if you are still holding the door knob of the closed door. And you are right, a year from now you may look back on this as the best thing that ever happened.

    Job applications near and far is great. Toss it out there, do the footwork and see what's meant to be in your future. If you end up in Florida so be it. There's the advantage of no snow and you both love Disney :-)

  2. We really are thinking about Florida:)

    Thank you so much for your kind words they mean so much to me<3

  3. Oh, Kasey... I was so busy late yesterday, I didn't see the news until this morning. I'm so sorry this is all piling up on you.

    As for your hubby... I would rather have integrity than perfection. Sounds like he made a mistake... but the reality is, he owned it -- that takes guts. Personally, I believe that should have counted for something.

    He has a lot to be proud of and so do you. Mistakes are made -- by every one of us. But here is the thing: lessons can be learned, but integrity can't -- you either have it or you don't. Clearly, he does. xoxoxoxo

  4. So true Aimee! I think that they "let him resign" as opposed to fire him because he told the truth. Either way it sucks. But your right integrity is more important and while I have no doubt this is going to be a struggle I know in the end everything is going to work out one way or another- it's just going to take time and patience and faith - and my friends<3

  5. I don't pray, but I will send as much good thoughts and positive energy that I can your way. Better times are coming...I can feel it!

  6. Thanks Patti me too :) Love ya lady and thank you for being a shoulder<3

  7. Oh Kasey, I'm sorry things are so tough right now. hang in there! I know it's easy for me to say, since I'm not the one living it, but hopefully there are great things just around the corner for you guys! I'll say a prayer that things work out, and hopefully it will lead to an even better opportunity for your family.

    As far as TTC, i hope the TWW is being good to you! Can't wait to hear that you get a nice BFP :)