Remembering Super Storm Sandy

I just wanted to touch briefly on the one year anniversary of Super Storm Sandy. For those of you who don't know we live on the Jersey coast line. We both work in Emergency Medical Services. During the storm we didn't know what we would be confronted with on our home front- but we both went off to work praying that they were saying the worst and the outcome would be much better than anticipated. 

The year previous we were hit with Hurricane Irene which was projected to be much worse than it was. We picked up, cleaned up and moved on easily. We were praying for the same outcome. 

Months before we were hit with a Derecho. We were without power for a week and our area suffered wide spread destruction. Other than the power outage we came out okay. 

But this storm turned out to be so much worse than anyones wildest dreams. Our home came away relatively damage free - but those around us were not so lucky. The damage spread from near and far. It was unfathomable. Icon images were floating in the ocean. Peoples homes were GONE. 

I worked the over night into the day dispatching. I took call after call from people who did not evacuate flood zones and were taking on water at a rapid rate. Time after time I had to tell people help was not on its way. There was no way to send people in due to the salt water and these people were suppose to evacuate. I listened to crews telling me that the boardwalk was floating down major streets. I heard stories of the ocean meeting the bay. 

My heart hurt more and more as the night wore on. What I didn't know was the worst was yet to come. When morning broke and you could see the damage. That's when I about lost it. 

I went home and my husband was sent into work. We had no power so I sat on Facebook and I saw pictures of places where we spend our daily lives- destroyed. I heard friends stories that they lost everything. I cried. I cry now thinking about how I felt when I saw the place we were married was destroyed.  

That's when I knew I wanted to do something for our friends and neighbors who were not as lucky as we were. Who were hurting and needed healing. I had a clothing drive. I had no idea what this clothing drive would turn into. Never in my craziest dreams did I ever think it would become as large as it did. Never did I think we would help and touch lives from near and far. 

We helped countless people. We came together to help our community come back together. I received more donations than my home could even handle. 

My living room was filled to the ceiling with clothes, food, and personal items. Donations poured in from friends and strangers near and far. 

People drove to my house and asked for help. We filled their cars and then more cars would come and drop even more off. 

We filled ambulances to the ceiling. 

When my home couldn't take any more we rented two storage units and filled them to the ceiling. 

When those were full we filled a coworkers garage. 

When that I full I actually had to ask people to stop giving. It was the most insane experience. We were overwhelmed. People helped though and we were able to help people. 

Tears are running down my face thinking of how generous people were. How people came from near and far to help. How people volunteer day after day. How a group of women sat on my living room floor and bagged and stacked pile after pile of donations. 

How amazing the experience was. And how I pray that I never have to go through anything like it again. 

These are just a few of the pictures of the people that came to help. Volunteered their time and lent a hand. I will never forget the way people reacted when we helped clothe their kids. The feeling will never leave me. 

Ambulances filled to the ceiling came to my home for drop offs.

 I was so inspired by people helping people. 

The place we were married. I am beyond thrilled to report that they rebuilt

 Garages filled up fast. 

My friend Patti knitted me hats. 

Friends that didn't live here sent gift cards from across the coast. 

People volunteer countless hours. 

There really was no room left. So many gave. So many more received. 

In times of trial and tribulation I am reminded of how much people give. 

I leave you with a quote from Mr Rogers- 

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother's words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers--so many caring people in this world."

Why Cory Monteith's Death Breaks My Heart..

I've been tossing around if I should actually put this blog post out there or not.

How it may be received and how I may be received for it.

I've decided that if I can help someone- anyone who is struggling- then I want to regardless of what anyone else may think of me.

So here goes nothing..

  

Cory Monteith- the singing football player named "Finn" on Fox's hit show Glee was found dead in in hotel room this weekend.

Monteith was very public with his battle with drug abuse. He had just completed another stint at rehab in April. Monteith started his battle with substance abuse at 13 years old. At the time his family intervened and he went to rehab for his addiction problems.

  

Monteith was able to complete rehab and battle back. He garnered fame becoming "Finn" on Glee and was very public and open with his struggles.

Not many people know about my own history with substance abuse. I dated someone with a substance abuse problem and I ended up sharing his problem. It became my problem and while I spent a lot of time blaming him and harboring hate for him it was my problem. It was a battle that I had to overcome.

  

I spent a lot of time fixing my life. I stopped talking to anyone that was part of my previous life. I got help and I grew up. While I didn't land a role on a hit TV show I was much like Cory Monteith. I made a better future for myself despite my past.

  

I am sure if people knew of my history they would think differently of me. I am proud of myself for over coming the obstacles that I have. I have never looked back and I have never battled with substance abuse again. But that’s not to say that something wouldn't or couldn't send me over the edge and I am always fully aware of that. I have to be.

  

Its a thought that you keep tucked away. Anyone who has ever dealt with any substance abuse issues of any kind is always aware that they are one mistake away from destroying your future. Its an internal battle of wanting your future more than wanting that one moment of reprieve from your present.

And in this journey with infertility so far there have definetly been moments where I want to hide from the present. It is a choice that I make to keep on moving forward and not to revert back to old bad behaivors. It is a choice I make because I want a better future for me- for my kids- for my family. 

These choices are something I am sure Cory Monteith battled with daily. Especially once he garnered fame. You run into the wrong person from your past and you figure what the heck.. and next thing you know your future is gone and your family and friends are left heart broken and questioning why.

  

I always keep my family, friends and future in my mind any time I think that my present is too much to handle. It is how I continue to stay clean. 9 years clean to be exact. Something that I deserve to be proud of. Something I am proud of.

  

Of course the autopsy results are not back yet and maybe there is something more to this that we don't know yet.

  

None the less all signs are pointing towards a probable overdose.

  

I'm so sick of seeing posts calling him a "typical junkie" and "troubled kid".

No one who is posting this actually knows him personally. No one understands the mind of an addict unless they have been one themselves.

Instead I wish I saw more about fixing this problem. Offering more counseling. Reaching out to young teens before the problem starts. Drug control. Anything so that another child.. another brother.. sister... friend.. mother.. doesn't have to die because of their addiction...because their present has become to much to handle.. because they are a "junkie".. because they are "troubled".

  

I want to see more posts about "The Cory Moneith Project."  In my mind it would be where anyone who is struggling can reach out. Can find help easily and can continue living towards a future that they too can be proud of.

  

I don't often discuss my history. I don't often feel comfortable bringing up my past for fear of judgment. In fact very very few people know my battles and I am just fine with that.

  

In fact there is only one reason why I am bringing it up here despite my fear of being too open and that is because I want to help. I want to do something to prevent this from happening again.

  

I really do feel like this should be a catalyst for change. Drug addiction is a real battle. Its something you live with for the rest of your life. It is always in the back of your mind.

  

Instead of judging him. Instead of calling him a junkie. Take a moment and talk to your kids. Talk to your family members. Talk to your friends and your coworkers. Remind them that they are worth something. Remind them that there are options out there for them.

  

Take a moment today and remind someone that you care about them.

  

Remind them that their future is worth something.

  

Remind them that it doesn't have to be this way.

  

So if you have stumbled here and you have an addiction problem and you are struggling please reach out to someone.

  

Anyone. Even if its me. I’m here if you need to talk. There are other options -keep your chin up and keep on keeping on... its a life long battle and your life is worth living even when you are struggling and don't think so for your self.

  

Lets take this sad story of another life gone to soon and make a difference instead of passing a judgment.