I have had this terrible habit for the last six months or so.
It is so time to kick it.
I keep putting things on hold. My excuse is always the same- "Well I will be pregnant by then.."
The more months that pass I realize that I'm not pregnant and I might not be pregnant "by then". The more events and activities I'm being left out of because I have chosen to sit the side lines instead.
Whatever "by then" is at this point is completely unknown.
I made an important choice to sign up for the Richmond 8k in November. I am taking a weekend trip with some very special women and I wasn't going to sign up to run as well because "by then" I may be pregnant.
Well what if I’m not? What then?
I will be sitting on the side lines not running or enjoying the weekend because I will likely be sulking over the fact that "by then" I'm not pregnant.
No I won’t keep doing this to myself.
It stops now.
I'm not giving up hope by any means. I may be pregnant by then and I may be "throwing" away a registration fee. If so then so be it. But I am not going to keep putting my life off or on hold because I may be pregnant.
I need to continue to live and be happy and grow as a person with or without a child. I will continue to fight for a baby and I will continue to hope and pray that "by then" comes sooner rather than later, but I can't stand the thought that most of my focus for the last six months was on getting pregnant and that not coming to fruition.
Placing life on hold waiting for the what ifs and maybes is just not working.
So no more. Time for some change and time to start training for my 8k!!