Friday, June 21, 2013

Fists of frustrated fury..

Today was my cycle day 12 appointment with the RE.
I still have Big Bertha- she is now inside my uterus though which means its a brandy new cyst. This Big Bertha is small- but concerning. Hopefully she just disappears and causes me no more issues.
But these bitches seem to really like the environment I got brewing in there.
I have a nice 7mm lining and 2 follicles on the left 16mm & 17mm and 1 on the right 12mm.

I swear he said that one of my follicles was behind my ovary. I have no idea what that means and I really wish I would have asked because my internet research isn’t revealing much of anything useful. Maybe it was hiding..

Ill go with that unless anyone out there has any insightful information about this..

Pending my blood work results today the plan is-
I will take my Ovidrelle shot Saturday night at 9pm and have IUI # 3 on Monday.

Ill start my Progesterone Suppositories after IUI.
I saw Dr S. today. He is normally upbeat and always talked to me in a positive light-- before today that is. Today he didn't say anything positive. There are no glaring issues for him -and in turn me- to not be positive about. But once he started on his next steps tirade I just felt defeated.
Like dude lets not discuss this until its time.

Can I hear a – "And then we will see you 7 days post IUI for bloodwork and 15 days post IUI for positive beta! Fingers crossed for you!"

But no- I get the "next cycle were gonna… or we may.. or lets discuss" conversation instead..
I get it- he wants to prepare me - but still the lack of positivity and avoidance of discussing this cycle any farther put me in a sad mood.
I wanted to cry and couldn’t put my finger on why.

I still want to cry and now its because I am so over appointments and blood work and the va-jay-jay cam.

I don’t usually sit around feeling sorry for myself but with two more friends of ours announcing their pregnancy’s I just want to shout and cry and ball my fists up in frustrated fury.

Dear uterus, ovaries, follicles and spermies- lets pull it together shall we!

Hopefully little Bertha doesn't produce any hormones or grow or do much of anything other than diss-a-freaking-pear.
Hopefully I ovulate and my progesterone levels rise. Hopefully this doom and gloom attitude disappears.
Hopefully 3rd time really is the charm.


  1. You'll get nothing but fingers crossed and positivity from me. :) I am hoping 3 is your lucky number! <3

  2. Ugh, I hate it when the doctors want to discuss the next cycle before the current one is even over. Why do they do that? Good luck.

  3. Thanks Ana I'm thinking of you and praying for you!