Wednesday, November 6, 2013

I Think We're Doing IVF Ya'll

So as many of you know I went to my "Next Steps" appointment today with my questions in hand. Basically I think Rob and I -together made a choice to at least start the ball rolling for IVF. 



Here's how it went down-

I met with Dr. S who was very honest and said he doesn't know why I am not pregnant. While I do have PCOS I do respond very well to medication to induce follicle stimulation and ovulation. He doesn't have an exact answer for whats going wrong and he isn't going to pretend and try to give me one. For what its worth I respect this far more than someone feeding me lines of crap. His inclination is that there is either an issue with the egg descending to the uterus such as scar tissue or Rob's sperm just aren't making it to fertilize the eggs. (He called them "lazy sperm" lol)

So why move to IVF without those answers? Because no matter what the answer is to those two questions IVF would end up being the ultimate answer to achieve a pregnancy. Our pregnancy. 

When I asked about the laproscopy he said that he has no problem with me going through with it, but he also doesn't think its necessary. He pretty much said that the risk may out way the reward. There are additional complications with laproscopy -such as infection. And if an answer is revealed, such as you have endometriosis, ultimately you will end up down the same road leading towards IVF. 

He also said if we were not ready for IVF we can peruse more IUI's or the laproscopy. His professional opinion is to move onto the IVF, but he isn't going to pressure us into it if we aren't ready for it. 

He also put it like this for us- Say he has 100 patients that present just like my husband and I. Some issues with egg production, but good sperm counts and healthy relatively young couples that respond well to medication. Those 100 patients all start with 3 Clomid or Femera IUI cycles. Out of those 100 patients 50 normally end up pregnant by the end of the 3 IUI's. 

So now you have 50 patients left not pregnant and those 50 move onto 3 injectable medicated IUI cycles.At the end of those 3 cycles of those 50 patients 25 more end up pregnant. 

Now you have 25 patients out of the original 100 patients who are not pregnant. Those 25 patients move onto IVF. Of those 25 patients 63% end up pregnant after the fresh IVF cycle. Since I suck at math lets just say around 10 patients of the original 100 are now left not pregnant. 

Now those 10 patients move onto a frozen transfer and 30% more end up pregnant. Basically yes our luck is pretty craptastic these days, but the odds of us being one of the 3 people or so out of 100 original patients that don't end up pregnant are very very low. 

So what about getting a second opinion? There are additional issues with this that Rob and I are faced with. The main issue is that the next closest clinic that I would feel comfortable with would mean an hour farther drive. This would disrupt my work schedule even more and would not be feasible without multiple schedule changes. The other issue that neither of us want to deal with is redoing all of our testing and starting back at one. We want a baby… like yesterday like 3 years ago..

Rob and I haven't come to a definite decision on this just yet. I think we are both pretty confident that IVF with our current clinic is a great option and the numbers really are in our favor. We plan to think about it and pray about it as well. 

My IVF coordinator should be calling me sometime this week to start talking about financial and insurance coverage as well as where/when we start. I'm thinking we will be ringing in the New Year with our first IVF cycle. I can't believe I just wrote "My IVF Coordinator". If you would have asked me 3 years ago about an IVF coordinator my head may have detached from my head and  spun around in circles. I never thought we would be here. 

But, here we are. Faced with decisions that we never thought we would be faced with. Ultimately we have amazing insurance coverage right now. We have no idea what 2014 will bring us. What I mean by that is we still may be moving. We still maybe changing our jobs and thus changing our insurance. Here we are with coverage that so many people do not have and I think ultimately that helps us move forward comfortably in our decision. 

My IVF coordinator will be in contact with my insurance. IVF cycles are covered for 4 cycles lifetime. Cryopreservation of our embryo's is not covered and so we will have to pay that out of pocket up front. We were quoted with a $700 fee- give or take. All in all that is amazing and I know so many of you are not that lucky. I wish that everyone had the coverage that we do. I wish I could share it with you all. If we didn't have this coverage right now this wouldn't be an option without pulling money from one of our retirement funds or going into debt with loans. Not that we wouldn't do that, just that having the coverage helps us with our decision. 

Dr. S recommended that if my insurance will cover it that half of my follicles go through ICSI. Basically inject the sperm into the follicle to insure that they become embryo's. He feels I will respond very well to the medications and that the ICSI will cover all basis if Rob's sperm don't meet my eggs during conventional IVF, rather than finding this out at the time of embryo transfer. My insurance should also cover this as well. 

We are still on a break. I am not taking any medications other than vitamins right now. I am already down almost 10lbs in a weeks. Primarily water weight from the bloat, but I don't care its still 10lbs. I am hoping for an additional 10lbs before we move forward with anything. 

We are going to finally tell Rob's parents what we are going through. The thought behind this is that we will need positive support from all directions. My parents are pretty much already in the know, but I also plan on telling them about IVF and getting their take on it too. 

In real life I don't think we will be sharing the news. At least not on any public forum such as FaceBook. That is unless you read my blog. Then if you could respect our wishes to not share our news please until we are ready to share it ourselves. 

So the next thing to happen is for my nurse coordinator to contact me to set up a second consultation. This is where we will get more in depth about our specific treatment plan and have a meeting with our IVF team. We will also be able to ask any questions we have, so if anyone has any constructive questions that you think we should ask please let me know. 

This is a major choice. I don't know if this is the right choice. I still need some time to process what I am feeling. But, after talking with my husband this is our choice. We still have a lot of hurdles before this is definite, but it looks like we are moving towards IVF and hopefully towards our baby… a baby we want so very badly. 

31 comments:

  1. I think you and your husband have arrived at your decision thoughtfully and everything you say makes a lot of sense. I think it's good that you're getting a break for a couple of months - it will leave you refreshed and really ready to commit to IVF. And your insurance is awesome - that is so, so great that you get decent coverage. And 10 lbs! Awesome! You should feel proud of yourself.

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    1. Thanks Megs! I feel better already. I'm glad that both my husband and I seem to be on the same wave length and its not one or the other leaning opposite directions.

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  2. I understand every thing you are feeling right now. IVF was a choice that we moved forward with and my egg retieval was yesterday. I wish you the best of luck.. You will make the right decision for you.

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    1. Saying an extra prayer for you today~ I think IVF is a hard choice to make, but I think its the right path for us for now.

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  3. Damn girl, 4 IVF cycles covered? That is awesome! I don't blame you for wanting to move forward with it while you know you have the coverage. I commend you for trying to do it without IVF as long as you have up until this point. So very excited for you!

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    1. Yea 4! Super amazing insurance even though it sometimes requires a little strong arming to get what is out there covered for us. I'm feeling pretty excited too.. and well nervous amongst other things.. but definitely excited!

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  4. You do a great job of balancing out hopefullness with thoughtfullness and it sounds like is really the best decision for you given all the factors. I was struck by your secondary decisions of deciding who and when to tell - I am struggling a lot with those decisions these days as well.

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    1. I think its different for everyone about who to tell and a lot of it has to do with their reactions. Its hard enough to be on this journey without fearing how someone will react or what someone will say. I think its best to have as much positive support as you can.

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  5. 4 covered IVF cycles?!?! Um, in that case I'd say run, don't walk towards that route!! :)

    In all seriousness, I agree with others, sounds like you've really thought all of this out and I'm super excited about following along!!

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    1. Lol yup 4 covered cycles. I think its easier knowing my husband it all on board too. Thanks I am excited too. Especially seeing everyones positive feed back <3

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  6. Praying for you to have discernment on what to do!! I know for sure getting to a place with yourself where you are comfortable is very important. The ivf cycles are truly a blessing especially being covered. I am excited for you can't wait to know what God places on your heart.

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    1. Thanks Charity once I move past my initial nervous.. are we doing the right thing… normal thoughts I am excited. I think this is it! xo

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  7. Glad you had the appt and got some clarity/answers. Hope you receive your peace and wisdom is this is the route for you and your husband! xoxo

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    1. Thank you Caroline.. I am hoping for some peace too. Its a big decision … but as long as we make it together I think we will do the right thing for us

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  8. Hi Kasey, I don't comment a lot on blogs...But wanted to let you know I've been following your story. I think it's great that you've tried all your options and are now moving forward with IVF. I love that your hubby is so supportive in all of this! I also think you should def tell those closest to you about your plans, because the support is so important. We did our first IVF in Sept, and I told my closest girlfriends and our immediate families. I'm so glad we did, because they were our biggest cheerleaders and support system through it all. Good Luck to you! I hope this cycle is it for you guys!

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    1. Aww thank you so much for following along. Im so thankful for a supportive hubby too. A support system is so important especially with all the ups and downs.

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  9. I remember the feeling of thinking about IVF. I remember the feeling when my doctor told me he recommended IVF. I was scared out of my mind. It was also the best decision I have made, because it is the only way I will get pregnant. I have learned so much more about my body going the IVF route. It's a big decision, but I promise, when you are in the midst of it, it becomes just another part of your life. It's crazy how that works. You sound like you guys have done a lot of soul searching. And seriously? 4 covered IVFs??? That's awesome!!! (Of course you won't be needing that many...) Great job on the weight loss! That has to feel amazing! Cheering you on!

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    1. Im equally terrified and excited. I spent the night dreaming of baby names. I'm so hopeful that this is it!

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  10. Sounds like you've thought it through and it's the right path for you. I can relate to doing a double take when learning than an IVF coordinator will soon be a part of my life. Awesome insurance! We also plan to start IVF in January. Eeks! So glad we can lean on each other for support.

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    1. Yay so glad someone will be going trough it with me. I'm terrified and excited!

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  11. I think you guys have gone about this exactly the right way, and have come to the best decision for your family. Your doctor really seems to make a lot of sense and totally agree with him. I hope these two months off ready you for what's to come, and in January you finally get that BFP!

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  12. It took me a long time to come to the conclusion of IVF. I didn't even try IUI. I think given your age and your responses to meds, your chances are very good. I am happy that you have insurance coverage as this is definitely an expensive endeavor. I am grateful that I have had coverage so far but it is coming to an end. Nevertheless, it is still a lot more coverage than what other people do not have. It's nerve wracking and at the same time exciting! I will be thinking very good thoughts for you and have a great break from all the meds. :)

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    1. It really is a mixture of nerve wracking and exciting. I think I feel more excited after seeing so much positive feedback. So glad I have all of you to help me through!

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  13. Very jealous of your insurance! Please let me know if you have any questions about IVF that I maybe to answer. We skipped IUI completely and just went straight to IVF and for this I am thankful. Praying for you!

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    1. Part of me is glad we did the IUI's though maybe no all 6 of them. At least that way I know they didn't work. Thankfully I have coverage for that as well. Thanks I am pretty sure I will contact you with a plethora of questions.

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  14. I can relate because I never thought I'd be the one with the thick chart, considering IVF. Yet I did it. Twice. And the second time worked and I'm 12 weeks pregnant. It's the best way to get pregnant honestly because there could be underlying issues they can't see through IUI. My doc used to say it was the fastest, most efficient way to achieve our goal. Hindsight is always 20/20, but I wish I bit the bullet and did it sooner.

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    1. So happy to hear a happy outcome! Praying this is the answer we have been looking for!

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    2. I should say, do NOT freak out if the first time doesn't work. I did. I was sooooo upset. And the more I talked to people who went through IVF, the more I learned that for most, it does take 2-3 cycles to get it down. So if at first you don't succeed, don't get down on yourself. Eventually, IVF DOES work for most people. Good luck!

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    3. Thanks Meredith of course I am hoping Im a first try kind of gal, but I haven't had much luck lately so I am pretty realistic. At least as much as I can be most of the time.

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  15. A great blog i wish even i get the smile soon as i am taking treatment from IVF treatment in Delhi wish all get well soon.

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