Snapped- why dispatchers on Clomid are dangerous beings..

Its hard for me to figure out how much is medication, how much is normal me, and how much is stress- but this cycle's mood swings have been pretty rough.

Im pretty sure that I should come with a disclaimer taped to my forehead-

"Hormonal Rage Ahead" 

I was working the other day and someone called 911 screaming and cursing at me because I asked what they need the ambulance for.

Normal Kasey can calmly defuse the caller-

Hormonal basket-case Kasey reprised a starring role in "Snapped- dispatcher on Clomid loses her shit"

I just could not, would not, deal with this guy cursing at me.  I screamed right back at him to stop cursing at me. I dispatched his ambulance and then - I cried. Like weeped.

I know that I shouldn't have yelled at him- but for the record he had it coming.

I was crying so hard I was sobbing and my poor male partner stared at me with the "WTF" glow in his eyes.

I sobbed that I was going to be on an expose on 60 Minutes and Barbara Walters was going to be talking about how I am a terrible person cause I snapped on a 911 caller.

Then I started sobbing because I was sobbing. Crying because "I don't know why Im crying".

No joke.

I then went outside to calm down and at that point I started cracking up. I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Hysterically laugh at myself.

My poor partner was staring at me when I walked in with hysterical bouts of laughing.

He was a trooper- though Im sure he went home to his wife and hugged her extra hard. Then they probably held hands and prayed for my poor husband lol.

Luckily he has been spared my insanity so far- thats because we are basically working opposite schedules right now.

Good planning on his part.

Tomorrow morning is my follicle scan. I hope that there is good news and these crazy mood swings start to dissipate.

If not be sure to catch me on my "Snapped" or "60 Minutes" episodes.

On Clomid Cocktails

Anyone else start their day with a nice Clomid Cocktail?

Am I strange that I am hoping for some more side effects this go around?

Stop, stop.. don't throw things here is my reasoning-

In my head if I have some actual side effects -other then amplified hades hot flashes and moodiness which ccould have just been my normal PMS'y self- in my mind than maybe that means its actually working.

If its not effecting my body than Im convinced that its not working. I don't want to beat the Clomid horse to death -so to speak.

I plan on discussing this with my RE when I see her next.

Im a bit more hopeful today though. Im not going to say "this is the cycle" because that just sets me up for it not being the cycle and me feeling stabb-mc-stabby.

Rob and I talked about changing RE's last night to someone with a little more exprience. Someone at a larger hospital in a bigger town- but we are stuck on the convience of this RE being close to our jobs. You know with all the appointments and blood draws and ultrasounds and sudden changes of appoointments and what not that its very difficult to be far away from your RE. However we decided to try this cycle plus one more cycle (if needed) with this RE. After that if we still feel like something is missing we will be seeking a second opinion from a larger RE office.

Our current concerns are my continued low progesterone and it not being addressed. I had to bring it up with the RE --why am I bringing it up and not them? The possibility of not ovulating on Clomid- and if that happens again I do not want to continue to take Clomid and have the same results. My high testosteron and high DHEAs not coming down with the current treatment plan. And overall the fact that I'm sick of waiting and Rob is sick of waiting and we want to have the best treatment plan for us-- and if that means we need to advocate for us- for our future than so be it.