Where o' where is AF..

Still no sign of AF. 

Its like Cycle Day 1 (aka my hope) is taunting me. 

(Come out, come out wherever you are..) 

I have tested every part of 20 times. 

20 BFN's.

This morning I had a Beta drawn. Its my first day of vacation. I am basically positive I am not pregnant.   Im also positive that while we are out running errands today- which includes a trip to Walmart- I will be standing at the checkout when they call and tell me its negative- and I realize this logic is silly- I will still have some sort of emotional outburst. 

You see its one thing to "know" your not pregnant. Its another thing for your nurse to "tell you" your not pregnant. 

I wish I had something enlightening and hopeful to say, but I just don't have it. 

I do know that what is meant to be will be and I really have no control over it. 

Also if the nurse calls and says Im pregnant while I am at Walmart Im pretty sure I will pass out and I do hope my friends on the EMS crew in town just let me be lol. 

In happy good news- today I weighed in with Weight Watcher's and I am -2.6 lbs. 

So my first goal is to lose 10lbs and Im 2.6/10

So yay. Weight Watcher's works when you work Weight Watcher's. 

Yesterday was a completely GF free day too and this morning I only had 8oz of coffee and guess what I am not shaking in a corner :) 

Hopefully Cycle Day 1 comes out from wherever its hiding. I have never wanted my period to start so bad in my life. 

If you've seen AF send it this way.. 


*Update my nurse just called my beta is negative. I will wait it out for a bit and call them next week to schedule an appointment to discuss brining AF back if she's still MIA. Thankfully I was still at home and not at Wally World AND I didn't have a breakdown..