Friday, August 9, 2013

Where o' where is AF..

Still no sign of AF. 

Its like Cycle Day 1 (aka my hope) is taunting me. 

(Come out, come out wherever you are..) 

I have tested every part of 20 times. 

20 BFN's.

This morning I had a Beta drawn. Its my first day of vacation. I am basically positive I am not pregnant.   Im also positive that while we are out running errands today- which includes a trip to Walmart- I will be standing at the checkout when they call and tell me its negative- and I realize this logic is silly- I will still have some sort of emotional outburst. 

You see its one thing to "know" your not pregnant. Its another thing for your nurse to "tell you" your not pregnant. 

I wish I had something enlightening and hopeful to say, but I just don't have it. 

I do know that what is meant to be will be and I really have no control over it. 

Also if the nurse calls and says Im pregnant while I am at Walmart Im pretty sure I will pass out and I do hope my friends on the EMS crew in town just let me be lol. 

In happy good news- today I weighed in with Weight Watcher's and I am -2.6 lbs. 

So my first goal is to lose 10lbs and Im 2.6/10

So yay. Weight Watcher's works when you work Weight Watcher's. 

Yesterday was a completely GF free day too and this morning I only had 8oz of coffee and guess what I am not shaking in a corner :) 

Hopefully Cycle Day 1 comes out from wherever its hiding. I have never wanted my period to start so bad in my life. 

If you've seen AF send it this way.. 

*Update my nurse just called my beta is negative. I will wait it out for a bit and call them next week to schedule an appointment to discuss brining AF back if she's still MIA. Thankfully I was still at home and not at Wally World AND I didn't have a breakdown.. 


  1. Oh man! I feel your pain and I did chuckle about getting that phone call while in Walmart...been there!

    1. It's the law of getting those type of phone calls- always at the worst place/worst time of the day.

  2. Those phone calls always happen at the worst time! I got the call I was having a miscarriage when I was teaching 20 1st graders. I only answered b/c it was supposed to be my good news 2nd beta numbers. Sucked. Well I'm hoping for the EMS to have to pick you up off the Walmart floor!

    1. Ugh thats the worst. Im hoping for that second outcome too but you know how we just "know" our bodies. I sadly know this isn't pregnant... just my silly reproductive system being crazy.

  3. I hate when AF is inexplicably late! it messes with your head in the worst way. I hope that the wait is over soon and it's not a horrible painful period when it arrives.

    I have an uneasy feeling that my next few months are going to consist of 1) hoping that AF doesn't come early and 2) stressing when it is inexplicably late.

    All the best and I hope there is no crisis in the Wal-Mart!

    1. Thanks I really hope it's not either the last was awful. The nurse just called while I was still home to tell me exactly what I knew- beta negative. Waiting it out and if it still doesn't come I go to the doctors next week to discuss bringing it back from hiding.

  4. Remember back in the day when it was always "Ughhh I got my period" and it was just irritating, not like a whole world of disappointment and stress? Yeah.

    I hope you get it today and this cycle goes well!

    1. Thanks me too and I know exactly what you mean. My nurse just called and I'm not pregnant. Now it's a waiting game..

  5. Thinking of you sweet friend!!! So proud of your weight loss, you are awesome! Hope you have a great vacay!!!