I follow Joel Osteen over on the land of Facebook. In my Quest of Positivity during my two week wait I was looking for some inspiring scripture or quotes. Something to lift my spirits today.
I'm not having the best or brightest of mornings. I’m certainly not a ray of sunshine right now. Part of it is returning to work after 17 days off. Part of it is having a tough time sleeping. Some of it is more people posting pregnancy announcements… and me feeling awful for feeling awful about another persons blessing.
I just feel overly aggravated with everything, and so I just wanted to turn that around. Just because my morning is trying doesn't mean my entire day needs to be trying.
I can still be a ray of sunshine even if it takes some work. Returning to work after 17 days off is a blessing- two fold- I have a job to return to and I was able to have 17 paid days off to begin with. I have no answer for the rough nights sleep other than if I let some of my worry go I am bound to sleep easier so I need to just exhale the mental fatigue and inhale some peace. Pregnancy announcements are rough. There is no way around them. I can be sad for me and happy for them. There is nothing wrong with those feelings despite what others may say. There is nothing wrong with going through the emotions you need to and process those emotions. What is wrong is dwelling on them. So I am sad that my plans haven’t worked out yet, but I am so happy for those who have been blessed.
As I was working all this out I hunted down some scripture to help with all of these emotions and feelings.
That's when I found this-
"Talk to your problems about how big your God is instead of talking to God about how big your problems are." - Joel Osteen
What an interesting concept. Instead of telling God about all that is going wrong, why not thank him for all that is going right. Instead of presenting my problems to God why not present my problems with God.
Instead of asking God to help me beat infertility- I want to tell infertility that because of God I am going to beat it. I don't know how its going to happen just yet. I’m not sure of God's plans- but he has a plan and I have to trust in it. In doing so I know that God will lead me to my answers.
I have never been the person that people turn to and say my friend Kasey is religious. I don't think some of my friends even know how strong my faith has become. Heck I don't often think of myself as religious, however if I didn't believe that God was in control I probably would be losing my mind right now.
I hate not being in control. I hate not being able to plan and move forward. The thing is having a baby isn’t something you get to plan. You can do everything right, and still not be pregnant. You an do everything wrong and wind up pregnant. Its all in God's hands.
I think that part of this journey was to help renew my faith and my trust in God. No matter what the doctors or I do if its not part of Gods plan its not going to work. We can create the best environment and pray for the best result, but God truly is in control. He really does have a plan. I have to believe in that.
He already knows what my problems are. I don't need to pray for him to fix them, because he is already working on them for me. I need to continue to move forward in my faith, keep my chin up, and trust in His plan.
I need to maintain a positive environment and know that my problems are already being worked on. I need to trust that there is a plan already in the works and I have to let control be in God's palm. He has a plan and I really am just along for the ride.
Everything really is going to be alright.
|Its not too late to be a ray of sunshine today :)|