So Facebook got me again today.
But Im gonna battle back...
So its not that I don't agree with the following picture. Its not that at all. In fact I am sure I would agree if given the chance. So, no.. its not that.
Its the tone of the picture that bothers me. Its taunting me.
I would like to make a new one- and yes I know it doesn't rhyme... and somewhat rambling.. but I gotta fight back incase any of you were confronted with this picture today too..
Until you've prayed for little fingers till tears ran down your cheeks. And until you wished for little toes to count over and over and over again. Until you hoped for little hands of your own to wrap your fingers around. Until you attended more doctors appointments than you can remember, stuck yourself with more needles than you can count, taken medications that alter all of your moods, or cried yourself to sleep in a bedroom that was supposed to be a nursery years ago then you will never understand what battling with infertility does to you. You will never understand wanting to kiss a little nose or rub a little tummy. You will never understand actually WANTING morning sickness or praying for round ligament pain. You will never know what its like to have a love so strong for someone who doesn't even exist yet... who may never exist and yet you still push forward. You keep trying you keep prying open old wounds because of the hope that someday you will have that take home baby.
Im sharing this because infertility is a struggle every single day. Even long after your battle is done it will leave scars that will never heal. You will always have the wounds that infertility lends to you.
There is good that comes from it though. Whether your treatments lead to a beautiful take home baby, or you discover the wonderful world of adoption or make a choice to live child free. No matter where this battle takes you - you will cultivate friendships with a very unique group of women.
These women are stronger and braver than any other women you will come to know. They will love you when Clomid is making you a crazy person, they will comfort you when you get another BFN (and they will know what BFN and all the other lingo means without any explanation) and they will cheer along for good results and happiness...holding you up and holding out hope when you don't feel like you have strength to hold yourself up or hold out hope any longer. They will become another family and without this struggle you would have never met them. And without this other family you wouldn't feel complete. You need them and they need you.
Thats what my picture would say if I were to post it on Facebook. Maybe I can't count toes just yet. And maybe I don't know about the bond between a parent and child- but I know other things. Like the fierce love of the infertility community. I can be greatful for that.
I can celebrate that.