Baby Bumps Galore and Happy Wedding Day!

I typically do a snapshot on Sunday’s, but I have a lot to say today and just a snapshot was not going to cut the cake my dear friends-

Yesterday was my cousins beautiful Wedding Day! It was PERFECT and BEAUTIFUL and I could not be happier for the both of them and their family!!

　

　

(I explained the cousin marry my other sorta-ish-but-not-really cousin here if you want to play catch up on that which is my large family!)

　

　

Let me start by saying I love baby bumps. I really do LOVE them. I have nothing against them really- other than I want one and I don't have one so they make me a bit sad and stir some feelings of jealousy these days. However, other than that, I think that a baby bump is the perfect accessory, but holy macaroni was I not prepared for the onslaught of baby bumpage that I encountered at my cousins wedding.

It was baby bump madness! Madness I tell you!! I have seen less baby bumps sitting in my ob/gyn office on a Monday morning after another BFN (prime time for find all the baby bumps waiting for blood work..)

The countdown:

　

-Both photographers were female- both sporting very obvious baby bumpage.

-Both women who sat behind Rob and me during the ceremony were talking about their pregnancies- I turned around and you guessed it -both sporting baby bumpage.

-My cousins came up to talk and he was with his wife who - you guessed it again more baby bumpage.

-4 additional guests whom I did not know- that's right ya'll 4 addiontal baby bumps.

　　

So the baby bumpage total count- 9!

9 muh-haha- haha.

9 very noticeable baby bumps, which I felt were just staring at me.

Baby Bumps are beautiful. I love them and I want one. Let me be crystal clear here- all these women looked adorable with their bumps and even the ones I don’t know I was happy for. To sport a baby bump is an honor and I hope to get to sport one to a wedding someday (soon) too. It was just a lot of baby bumps in not a lot of space for a little old IFer like me to take in.

You know I really do believe in signs from above. Hopefully they were all there for me to see for a reason. All hopefully a sign foreshadowing my future.

　

The thing is I must not have been the only one to notice it, because there was a lot of IF talk at this wedding. That is strange for me because honestly other than a few of my closest friends and Rob- most of my IF talk is done here and solely here.

　

What sparked the IF talk was the inevitable questions that family ask when you haven't seen them in a bit. Well I should say question- "When are you having kids of your own.."

I am vowing to never ask this question- EVER. I strongly request that if you are thinking of asking this question you divert it to some other line of questioning. {Something in the safe zone would be- hows your gardening/knitting/sowing/crafting going.}

You have no idea why cousin so and so does not have kids so asking this question could spur some sadness and hurt and unless your close with cousin so and so it may not be the most appropriate thing to ask.

　

My answer normally is always the standard "when it happens it happens." This makes it easier to skirt around the actual question without having to explain too much to people who probably don't want to hear about my malfunctioning lady business.

Instead (probably fueled by a few drinks I’m not gonna lie) when I was first asked this by a cousin I opened up somewhat and instead of my normal go to lines said- "when my body decides cooperates." Which prompted her to ask what that meant… and then I opened up about our IF struggles and how we were in the midst our 5^th IUI. She did tell me I "should just adopt". Like that’s the easiest thing in the world. Instead of going on my "just adopt" tangent I said its always an option, because it is- but were just not there yet and its not "just" that easy.

　　

Then we were seated at our table with a good friend of mine who I haven't seen in forever. In fact her father was our Pastor at our wedding. He did the ceremony and blessing at my cousins wedding as well and we all sat together which was really nice. K and I were best of friends growing up and had similar back grounds. We were even married within a few weeks of one another. I asked K how her and her husband have been and she lead by saying "well we did the hole fertility thing.." and then went on from there about their last three years.

　

Since I haven't talked to her much I wasn't sure if this was her telling me she too went through fertility treatments or if she was working at a fertility office. I really didn't know- but being fueled by a few cocktails- I backed her story up and just came out and asked her.

　

Lo' and behold her and her husband also have been going through the same thing. Who knew?? We talked about our similar stories and she told me her RE horror story. My heart aches for where they were left in their journey- but that is their story to share. We vowed to stay in touch and it was so nice to reconnect with her. I’m sure God placed her next to me at our table to talk for a reason.

　

But that’s not all that happened at this wedding involving my malfunctioning lady parts.

　

I have another cousin who was there who I have not seen in quiet some time. We got to talking and I knew that she underwent fertility treatments to have her son as well. We never openly talked about it, but I felt compelled to have a conversation with her about it…I guess all the IF talk going on geared me up.

You see my cousin M's husband tragically died in a car accident right after she had IVF and found out she was finally pregnant with her son. So I know it’s probably not the easiest subject for her to discuss- so I asked her if she was okay to talk about it with me. She grabbed my hand and said always. We talked a bit and she asked me to come over to her house for dinner so we can sit and talk some more. She wants me to go to her doctor and she really wants me to sit and talk with her about why she was not happy with my current RE office.

　　

She told me one more thing- she has frozen embryo's and eggs which she’s been storing even though she won't be using them. (After M's husbands death she met a new man whom has kids of his own, together they have a beautiful family and she won't be doing IVF again) She said she really didn't know why she's been storing them all along, but she wanted me to know that if I needed donor eggs or embryo's that I am welcome to hers.

So were clear here- she offered me her eggs and/or embryo's as donors if we ever need to cross that bridge.

　　

Well cue the tears. Seriously. What a wonderful gesture. I know that making that decision would be a way aways from where we are, but I can't help but to be grateful for the offer.

　

Even writing about it now and thinking about her offer brings tears to my eyes. There really is a reason for everything and I'm beyond grateful for M and I can't wait to sit down and talk some more with her about her journey and IVF.

　

As I was crying my other cousin’s wife (M's sister in law) was standing with us and told me that she knows that I am going to be a Mommy. She told me she had goose bumps and she just knows it in her heart.

Then she also opened up to me about their struggle to have a second child. They have been trying for number 2 for 2 years and she is 37. I told her there is such a thing as secondary infertility- and suggested she seek some additional assistance in having number 2. We cried together and I know that she and I have not been close in the passed (in fact yesterday was my first time meeting her face to face!), but I truly feel like I have a new friend and prayer warrior in her as well.

　

So to round up all this mumbo-jumbo- (which I feel is sort of discombobulated and all over the place and for that I am sorry..)

I have lots and lots and lots of cousins and sorta-ish cousins and cousins in law and sorta-ish not really cousins.

　　

There were 9 baby bumps bouncing around and I really, really, really, want one.

　　

I opened up to some family members about IF and our struggle and now have more people praying and hoping for us and along side of us. 

　　

One of my long lost friends was seated next to me and I now have someone else to pray with and go through this journey with.

　

My cousin M is an absolute angel and we have a date to discuss my future treatments.

　

My cousin's wife is going to be one of my new best friends.

　

Oh and speaking of cousin's- Lauren and Jimmy had the most beautiful wedding. I know I am hot- hormonal-mess- but I truly cried my eyes out at their ceremony. They had their own vows which made us all laugh and cry with them and there is no doubt in my mind that they are perfect for one another.

I wish them many years of continued happiness, love, and blessings.

Tomorrow is the day- We find out what those follicles are doing and where we go from here. Is IUI 5 a go or no go for launch? Only about 24 hrs till we have that answer…