Sunday, January 19, 2014

The Good and The Bad.

I have so much going on in my head that I need to spill forth so if this is everywhere all at once I apologize for the roller coaster. 

Lets start with the good-

I have my follicle scan yesterday. There are still 12 follicles growing, and there may be more that they cant see because my left ovary is in a difficult spot to view behind my uterus. They are still growing small most right around 12 mm right now, but they are growing together and that is a good thing. 

My lining is also at 9mm which is really good and by the time we get to transfer it should certainly be into the double digits which is an amazing lining to place a little embryo snugly into.

I still don't have a retrieval date. I go for another scan on Monday and they said we should be able to set up a retrieval day at that point. My doctor yesterday thinks Wednesday or Thursday. Either way I am so ready. I'm continuing with 225 Gonal-F, 225 Menopur, and Ganirelex along with .25 Dexemethesone. 

My best friend was able to come with me to my appointment and we did some shopping afterwards and share a lovely lunch. I bought a new outfit, which essentially is sweat pants and thermal shirts. My idea was to be warm and comfy for my retrieval. While in line a woman who was obviously pregnant was behind us. I took that as a good sign instead of viewing it as something bad. While checking out the cashier also commented that the clothes were super soft- which was key in my choosing them so I think that was also a win. 

Crush from Finding Nemo! He's so cool :)


I also went to Vikki Secret and bought new under wear. I found undies with turtles on them. Many of you, I am sure, are familiar with turtles as a sign of fertility. I also have a certain affinity for turtles. I thought it was awesome when the cashier commented on my turtle under wear. I just took all the little things as signs that things are going just how they are supposed to! 

Squirt from Finding Nemo! I hope to be growing my own little squirt soon:)

So that was the good. Everything with our IVF is moving forward- albeit slowly- but continuing in forward motion. Thank you for all of your continued support and prayers for our cycle. I feel like this is it- I feel positive and happy. I feel like we are in the right place for us right now. Other than the fatigue and bloat I do not feel bad at all. Things are going so well. 

Now for the bad- A long time coworker and a true friend was found dead at the age of 42 yesterday morning. Kevin J. Seybold was a paramedic for NJ -Medic 2335 and a Fire Fighter for the City of Camden. Kevin was more than that though- Kevin was a father to his beautiful, young daughter Taylor. Kevin was a God Father, Brother, Cousin, Uncle.... Kevin devoted his life selflessly towards others. Long after Kevin left working at the same company as I do he kept up with my life. He would always check in on me, make sure I was healthy, happy, and well. 

RIP Kevin J Seybold

My heart truly broke with the news yesterday. He's so young. He had so much more to give. Apparently Kev hadn't been feeling well for a few days and yesterday he didn't show up for work- which is not like him- so they sent a friend and coworker to his home where they found him dead at home. 

I know that he isn't in pain any longer. I know that he is looking down on all of us and willing us to stop our crying. I know that Kevin saved lives during his time here on earth and I know that Kevin will continue to inspire us long after he is gone. 

Kevin - I hope you can see how many people you have impacted. I hope you know that your spirit and your ability to always make us laugh will live on in all of us. 

God needed another Fire Fighter 
So its been a difficult weekend. I've had wonderful moments this weekend, but they are so clouded with my grief. This is the the fourth coworker in less than a year that we have had a lay to rest. Its a sad remember than as we all quest for life-- death continues on as well. Our lives are not guaranteed here on this earth. Its so important to cherish what we have-- you just do not know what tomorrow will bring.

24 comments:

  1. Oh Kasey, I'm so sorry for your loss! I recently went through a similar experience, and it is something that I know I'll carry with me forever. But, sometimes God needs the good ones. I'm sending hugs!

    Also, awesome news about IVF.

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    1. God definitely needs the good ones! Thanks for the hugs!

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  2. Sorry for the loss of your dear friend. I am glad to hear that your follicles are growing together as that is really important. Mine grew at different rates making retrieval difficult since not many were still good.

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  3. So sorry for your loss. It really is a life lesson anytime something like that happens to someone you know and makes you hold your loved ones that much tighter. He sounds like he was an amazing human being.

    Glad to hear things are chugging along nicely on the IVF front. Hoping that you'll be receiving some good news in February to lift your spirits after so much loss lately.

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    1. Its so hard to lose a friend. He was a truly amazing man! Things are moving wonderfully!

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  4. So sorry for your loss Kasey! That sounds like a really difficult weekend with a lot of highs and lows! Hopeful that Monday will bring some better news. Hang in there; you're almost there!

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    1. Its so hard when you have highs and lows. You just can't put a finger on how you feel. Today was good news though!

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  5. It sounds like you bought the perfect outfit and things for your retrieval/transfer. I am sending good vibes to keep those follicles going strong and everything to go as hoped.
    I was so enjoying all the good in this post! I am so so sorry about Kevin though.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you a big hug!

    btw- totally off subject... You were included on my nominations for the Sunshine awards I recently finally got around to doing :)

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    1. Definitely!! Thank you for the nomination! Can't wait to answer <3

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  6. I love how you were seeing the "postives" and "signs" all day!

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend! I'm praying for peace to be wrapped around every person's heart and mind as they try to grieve. Hugs!!

    waitingforbabybird.com

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    1. I'm doing my very best to focus on the happy and the positives! Thank you for the payers of peace. Its so hard to lose someone so young so unexpectedly!

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  7. How terrible to lose such an amazing friend unexpectedly. It's never easy when life ends too soon.

    I'm so happy to hear that you are in such a positive place in your cycle though! Slowly but surely is the best way! Can't wait for your retrieval to get scheduled. Prayers for you !

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    1. Thank you! I can't wait for retrieval! Looks like its going to be Thursday!

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  8. I am so sorry about your friend Kasey. Sending you lots of hugs.
    Glad to hear the IVF is going well. Fingers crossed for continuing good news.

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    1. Thank you! Definitely got some good news today!

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  9. So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. But I'm glad the news is good about your cycle!

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    1. Thanks! My cycle is moving forward perfectly :)

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  10. I'm so sorry about your friend..

    All of your numbers look awesome! I feel like this is going to be a really good cycle. Prayers coming your way!!

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    1. Thanks I feel like its the cycle! Thanks for the prayers!

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  11. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. My thoughts are with you and his family.

    I love turtles too. I hope they bring you great luck on this journey.

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  12. I'm so sorry for your loss, and especially for his family. Heartbreaking. I hope he went peacefully.

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    1. I hope so too- sadly we don't know anything yet. He will surely be missed!

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