Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Retrieval Is Set!

Our retrieval is set for Thursday at 11am!!! 

We made it!!

Everything went great today- I have 10 follicles that should be mature enough to have eggs once retrieved, with the chance of a few more catching up also being possible. That was our goal- so I feel very good. I feel like my body pulled through.

Tonight I will do a double trigger shot of Ovidrel and 450 IU of Gonal-F for the last push to mature the eggs at 10:30 pm. I will also start a Z-pack today. Menopur and Ganirelex are discontinued at this point.

At midnight tomorrow night I will be NPO (nothing by mouth..) and then Thursday we should arrive at the IVF clinic at 10:30 to prep me for retrieval. Tomorrow I will explain more about the actual retrieval process. 

Today I'm feeling all kinds of emotions all at once- peace, excitement, nervousness, happy.. I'm just so very ready :) 

We are suppose to get hit with a snow storm today into tonight- 8-12 inches planned to fall. I already hit the grocery store after my appointment today and grabbed some goodies to get us through not only the storm but the weekend so I can relax as long as need be and not have to worry about it.

I feel like we are all set and ready and things are coming together perfectly.I really can't wait till we get to hear about how our embryo's are growing. Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts during this entire process. I still feel pretty good physically and my only complaint is the overwhelming fatigue. However I will take the fatigue ten times over if it means a healthy baby at the end of all of this.

Yesterday the women of my church met and at the end we all prayed for different things in one an-others lives. As my good friend prayed over me and my body and the journey that we have been on the tears started to fall from my eyes and I couldn't hold in the sadness. It felt so good to release anything I had been holding in. 

There was more there though than sadness. Listening to my friend pray this beautiful prayer over me helped bring me even more peace-- and even though I was outwardly crying inwardly I could feel the love wrapping around me. 

To hear someone who has watched you on your journey pray for you and speak over you from their point of view is a beautiful thing. I think often times we are our own worst critics. We see our very worst moments on the highlight reels-- but other's don't see that in us. To hear a different highlight reel-- to hear her pray over me and to have these women hold onto me tightly as I cried-- it was a perfect moment.

My friend said this- "What happens when we cry to our Daddy's? We normally get what we need to make us feel better. Crying to our Father in Heaven surely means he will help to heal those tears. He hears you. He is going to give you comfort." 

I know that God doesn't always answer prayers exactly how we see fit. Typically God answers prayers by opening other doors or presenting things to us in a different light. 

I can't help but think that he has been answering my prayers while building my faith during this journey-- just not the way I thought he would. I thought we would have a baby by now- that's what I prayed for after all, but instead we have developed friend ships and relationships that would have never came to us if we hadn't been on this journey. 

Our baby has been prayed over time and time and time again. Our baby is already loved by so many people and so incredibly blessed. And our baby is not even here on this earth yet. That is a beautiful thing. 

During this journey our faith has been tested and instead of turning away we have set off to make our faith stronger. My goal for this year isn't to become a mother- its to continue to become a stronger Christian. To become a strong Christian Wife. And then ultimately become a strong Christian Mother. 

If it wasn't for this journey I'm not sure if those would have been my goals. This journey has given me so much hope. So much love. So many friendships. And while there were certainly moments where I cried out why. Now I understand the answers to that. If he would have answered all those prayers -- if IUI 1 would have worked or we were able to conceive on our own-- we wouldn't have been on this journey. We wouldn't be here. 

I wouldn't have met all of you. 

It wouldn't be this baby, because I truly feel like our baby is here this time. 

And if this isn't the answer yet-- God will show me why and when. If he has something else planned someday I will understand.  

For now- I stay in a place of total peace and understanding. For now I pray for the doctors and nurses who preform my surgery to have steady hands and retrieve my follicles without too much effort. I pray that our embryos grow healthy and strong and that the embryologist watches over them all just as their Mother would. I pray that God watches over Rob and I during this all and keeps us wrapped safely in his arms. 


I'll leave you with a line to a Garth Brooks song-- 

"Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers!"


34 comments:

  1. All good things to prayer for... hoping that He blesses you richly and that those ten follicles yield beautiful, mature eggs that grow into healthy embryos. Hang in there, you're almost done!

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  2. Kasey you are so strong and so inspiring. I'm so happy that you have found such peace at this point in your journey and I pray that YOUR baby is in this group of embryos. Hang on to that positive attitude and stay strong as you finish out this cycle. There are great things to come - I just know it!

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    1. I think so too! And I think that being positive right now is the only way to go! Thank you!

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  3. I'm praying for you too girlie! I want to send you a lil something in the mail...do you care to send me your address? My email is 10hopeingod@gmail.com If not, I totally understand :) NO hard feelings AT ALL :)

    waitingforbabybird.com

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    1. Thanks Elisha! I absolutely love snail mail :)

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  4. I love this post! You will be in my prayers this week, and I truly hope this IVF leads to a precious, healthy baby (or two!) for you!

    I completely understand what you're saying about this journey strengthening faith and making you a better Christian. I feel the same way. It's incredible that this diagnosis - that we all hate so much, and that takes so much from us - actually gives us so much as well.

    My fingers are crossed for you, and I'll be praying that your retrieval goes smoothly and that your embryo(s) stick!

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    1. Thanks! Its amazing that through a struggle something good can come out from it. Thank you for praying and thinking of me!

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  5. Praying that everything goes well! If you have a 5 day transfer then you should have the transfer on Tuesday! My frozen embryo transfer is next Wednesday! We'll be PUPO together! :)

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    1. Yay! I can't beleive that we've made it PUPO :) Wishing you the best!

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  6. Thinking of you, and sending all the positive vibes your way for a wonderful, easy retrieval. I love what you said about all the things you have learned through this journey, and especially the part about how if the prior cycles had worked, it wouldn't be *this* child. It's a great way to look at it. You're almost there!

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    1. Thanks Megs! I can't beleive were almost there!

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  7. Good luck! Staying cozy at home in a snowstorm sounds devine!!

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    1. Thanks! I love staying inside when I can and don't have to work out in it! It was a great lazy afternoon!

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  8. Yay! I am so excited for you! I've been working on acceptance for God's plan as well and it sounds like you're doing an amazing job in trusting in Him.

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    1. Thank you so much! I have all my trust in Him this time!

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  9. This baby. Or these babies! They're on their way <3

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    1. Thank you so much Adi! I think so too! <3

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  10. Praying that you'll soon be shouting with joy.

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    1. Thank you! I can't wait to shout with joy!

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  11. Yay, so happy for you! Good luck on your retrieval. Can't wait to read all about it :)

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    1. Thanks Steph! Im going to try to share when I get home tomorrow- if not Friday for sure!

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  12. Beautiful post! I'm so excited that you are almost to retrieval! Good luck. Hope everything goes smoothly.

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  13. Wow- this was powerful and really helpful for me. I also think about how our future babies will have been prayed for by so so so many people. Not just friends and family but now even strangers. It's amazing. Thanks for the reminder. :)

    Very excited for you about Thursday!!!

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    1. I'm so glad it was helpful! I'm so excited too!

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  14. I thought you were only a couple weeks ahead of me and now ER already? I guess I'll be in your shoes in a couple weeks! Good luck and will keep you in my prayers!

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    1. I know its crazy how fast it went even though while in the middle of it I felt like it was dragging. Thinking of you too!

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  15. Hugs to you...so exciting to have your egg retrieval day set, and hoping that it all continues to go smoothly!

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    1. Thanks Im so excited too! Hugs right back to ya!

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  16. That song came up on my pandora a few days ago and I teared up. Good luck Thursday

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    1. I love that song- I just keep repeating it to myself over and over <3

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  17. How blessed to be enveloped in prayer even before arriving on earth. I can feel the joy and beauty that surrounds you in your quest and, as a believer, I know that God's blessings are always on Time... TY or the Garth Brooks song too.
    Elizabeth from ICWL

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    1. I think so too- to be prayed for before exsisting- how powerful is that truly! All in His time <3

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