Friday, December 6, 2013

Girls Night Out

Last night was "Girls Night Out" in the Historic Town of Smithville. Smithville is a small town, about a half hour from where I live, that has a bunch of small shops and crafters. My Mother In Law received an email that they were having a "Girls Night Out" and asked if I would go with her. 

It was very nice event. Some of the stores had a little chocolate sampling or a small glad of wine. I got my Mother In Law a new charm bracelet and a few new beads. Her birthday is three days after Christmas, so I told her this would be her birthday gift. She tried to give it back to me to wrap up and give to her on her birthday, but I told her to just wear it and enjoy it now. 

I also spent a little money on myself.



I just love owls. When I first started seeking fertility help I bought a bracelet that had two owls attached and said hope. I would wear it to all of my treatments until it broke. Since then I have come to love owls. I would even like to include owls in our nursery someday. So these little guys represent hope, life, and love for me. I'm pretty sure I will wear them until they break or I lose one (isn't that always how it happens?).

I also got this new bright purple watch for work. I used to have a white watch, but since I am left handed and like to wear my watch on my left wrist, it always was covered in blue ink. Eventually most of it just turned a dull blue/dirt color. This one is so much fun. Its bright and happy and hopefully won't fade to that blue/dirt color. 

We are meeting with my in-laws next together next Tuesday to tell them about our IVF plans. They really don't know anything about our quest to make them grandparents and the struggles we've had so far. We decided that it would be best to have their support as well as we go through this and so we are going to sit down with them and tell them about it. 

The thing is Rob keeps telling his Mom and Dad that we "have something we need to talk to them about" and I am pretty sure his Mom thinks we are going to tell them we are expecting. 

I ordered wine at dinner with her last night to help stop those thoughts in their tracks, but I still couldn't help but think that is what she thinks already. I'm sure they will be a positive support for us, but I can't help but to feel like I am letting them down again. Just like I sometimes feel like I am letting my husband down as well. 

I know that's not the case. I really have no control over it all at this point and I am keeping the faith that when the time is right we really will be blessed with all the joy and happiness in the world. 

Please note my period is still not here. So who knows what is going on. I guess I will test again tomorrow to see if their has been any change. We have an Ugly Sweater Party tomorrow night :) 

Can't wait to share some "Ugly Sweater" photos with you guys! 

16 comments:

  1. Have fun at the ugly sweater party! Hope that the conversation with the parents goes well!! YOU my friend are not letting ANYONE down. Do not accept any feelings of shame. You have done nothing wrong!!

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    1. Thank you Caroline! So sorry your trip was cancelled!

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  2. Ha! We are hosting a turtle neck party in next week! :)

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  3. Aww I am so glad you splurged on yourself. And I hope the conversation goes well from what you've told me it should be a sigh of relief for your MIL. Hehe. I hope you have tons of fun at the party can't wait to see pictures. P.S you are wonderful, capable and blessed. Let nothing make you feel otherwise - infertility sucks!!

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    1. I think it will go very well! Thank you Charity!

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  4. I went through the same thing before IVF and felt even during IVF that I was letting my whole family down. I sometimes think that it is a phase that we go through in needing someone or something to blame. But please try to not blame yourself.

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  5. I think we all have those feelings, about letting people down. I know I do. It's one of those side effects of infertility. But you're not. It's nothing that you've done wrong, it's just life. God presents our struggles to us in very different ways, some it's a long term illness, or a difficult family situation, and others its infertility. If only the veil of shame over infertility were lifted, I think less of us would struggle with guilt and shame. I trust that God will give you what you're looking for, perhaps not in your timeline, but it will happen.

    I haven't told our families either that we've been trying, without success, to give them grandchild for a while now. They think we're just taking our time...so I can understand on some level how nerve wracking that conversation can be. I hope they are very supportive and positive, and I think they'll feel more involved once you've let them know what's happening.

    Good luck, and I LOVE your purchases! I too have a soft spot for owls... they would make a super cute nursery theme!

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    1. I just love Owls:) I don't know how the conversation is going to go. The closer we get to tomorrow the higher my anxiety rises about it!

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  6. Well aren't you just the social butterfly? You've got quite the calendar going. You deserve to be out and about treating yourself nice! Enjoy yourself!

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    1. Seems like too much on my calendar made me a sick girl.

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  7. Enjoy yourself. Love your cute earrings. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. Infertility can take so much out of us.

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  8. I think it's good you're telling your in-laws and I hope they will give you positive support. We decided to tell my MIL about our troubles during our last IUI because we were moving onto IVF if it didn't work and I felt like she should know about IVF. She has never been anything but kind and supportive. I know it's hard not to feel this way, but you're not letting anyone down. Your friends and family love you and they want you to be parents because it is your dream, but their love for you is about who you are as a person and not about any grandkids you can give them. Hugs.

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    1. I hope the conversation goes as well as I am picturing it!

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