Wednesday, December 11, 2013

We're Going To Disney World~

First before I begin to share my good news I have to send all of my love and prayers to Anne at The Second Bedroom who just received awful news from her doctors office. Please head over and send her some love if you can. Anne if you are reading this my heart aches for you and I am sending you so much peace and love and light. xo



Last night we had the in-laws over to tell them that we are under going IVF. Rob's Mom was quick to point out that she already knew I wasn't pregnant because when I saw her on Thursday night I had a glass of wine with her. 

Sweet, that was truly my plan when I had that glass of wine and it was 100% on purpose. I didn't truly want or need it in that moment, but I knew that if I said "no thanks" when she offered me it that it would have sent off red flags. She knew we wanted to have them over to "talk" this week. I didn't want to set her up for a giant let down. She's been waiting as long as we have after all.. if not longer. She is waiting for that "talk".. the one where we tell her she is going to be a Grandma. I always feel like I am letting people down- especially Rob's parents since they are much older than mine, so I really did want to soften the blow. I figured she had jumped to the "their pregnant" conclusion that most Mom's of 38 year old Men who have been married for almost 4 years do...

The conversation could not have gone better though. I had all my information laid out so I could show it to them and help them understand it better. We told them everything that we have already gone through and tried our best to explain everything that is yet to come. We told them that IVF is in no way a 100% guarantee that we will end up with a baby, but its better odds then we have had lately on our own. I didn't cry once- though when Rob spoke of our journey and how he knows it has been hard on my my eyes did well up. I know its been hard on him as well.

We asked them to be as patient with us as possible. We told them we knew they probably would have lots of questions, and we would answer whatever we could. We asked them to not question us to much during this process though. We told them that we would tell them when we got pregnant, but we would do it on our timeline. We asked them not to tell anyone else what was going on- mainly so that we have our privacy and can tell people in our own way and answer their questions when we are ready. 

They were visibly excited to know that we were moving forward and getting closer to making them Grandparents. They prayed with us and for us and over us. They hugged us and loved us. They embraced this 100% and I could feel their love and knew they wanted this as much as we do.

And then they told us they were taking us to Disney World. 

Well not quite like that exactly. Rob's sister lives in Arizona and it is not often that we are all together. In fact I have been with Rob for almost 8 years now and there is only one other time in those years that his entire family has really been together for any length of time. In February his parents are getting their timeshare in Disney for a few weeks because Rob's sister will be coming to Florida already. They wanted nothing more than for us all to really be there together. We just need to pay for our airfare, but they don't want us to worry about any other financial aspect of the trip. They just want their family together. 

I think they know that these times are few and far between and as they get older and sicker the less of the chance that we will take these trips. Its sad when I sit back and think that this must be going through their minds. 

Of course some of the thought that fluttered through my already chaotic mind were - Oh goodness I could actually be pregnant in Disney. And Oh my I could make an announcement at Disney! Oh my word were really going to Disney! 

You see a little secret you may or may not know about me- I am a Disney Freak! I just love it. Over the years I have converted my husband to become a Disney Freak with me. With Rob's job loss and our fertility issues I really didn't think we would be going anytime soon. So I am beyond over the moon excited about Disney. I started plotting and planning and reserving for our trip. It was a wonderful distraction from the big IVF in the room. 

In a matter of a few hours I have looked up flight departures and arrivals, car rentals, planned and reserved meals, planned days in Disney, planned fireworks and parades... my mind goes a million miles a minute when it comes to Disney. More so when it comes to thinking that this could be our child's very first Disney trip- in utero. 

I know I am full of hope and sunshine and rainbows- but for the longest time I didn't feel that. I am fully aware that I may be setting myself up for a let down, but the joy I get in thinking about the happiness that could possibly be filling me- that is half the fun in planning on having a baby. I missed these conversations that we had when we first started trying. The what would be name our babies. The what would they look like. The what are they going to call our parents.. those conversations that we used to have.. but stopped having because there was far too much pain in thinking about what could-be scenarios that seemed like pipe dreams with each stark white test. 

Now I get to have hope. Now we get to have hope. And if it doesn't work this time- then it doesn't work, but for now I am choosing to be filled with hope and joy and sunshine, because the other option is not nearly as fun. I am reserving the right to have my moments- as we all do.. but for now I choose hope. 

In this moment I choose to think about having a baby on board and having to say things like "no I can't have any wine.. I'm pregnant.." and "no I can't ride Tower of Terror.. you see I am carrying a baby!" As I think that these moments are really possible tears stream down my face. Happy.. happy tears. I am so filled with light and love and hope that I could explode... Its not without some anxiety, but I am truly focused on the happy.

So now we just wait for Monday and pray for good results and hope that we are the lucky ones. Hope that this all works for us. Pray that this is our last stop on this journey. Pray that when I am walking around Disney in February that its with a unseen plus one... a little Mickey or Minnie if you will<3

25 comments:

  1. How exciting! Disney is so fun. And yes, let's hope it will be your little one's first trip in-utero!

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  2. Let yourself be excited! Enjoy every single moment of this journey. Positive thinking helps SO much. Trust me there will be down moments but embrace the up moments when they are there. I am praying for a BFP and a great trip to Disney!

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    1. Thank you! I'm at peace right now and love this renewed feeling of joy. I've missed it!

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  3. I am praying with you my friend. I am so happy this weight has been lifted and you have their support and prayers. I know God is working in the midst of all this bringing you all closer together. Just trust that He will handle all the details just believe good things are to come....he already sent one your way. Disney!! XO

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    1. I know it Charity! I love the idea of us all being together and maybe being able to share our good news with everyone together <3

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  4. I am uber impressed with how you and Rob handled the talk with your in-laws. That is seriously a perfect example of a mature and healthy way to handle the balance of being open and honest, gaining support of loved ones, and also setting boundaries with them up front about what you expect from them. Kudos to you guys! Slam dunk! Congrats on the Disney trip too. Sounds like a blast!

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    1. Thanks Emily! I don't think it really could have ever went any better!

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  5. I am so happy that you are filled with hope and joy and sunshine! You should be - you've got good stuff ahead of you! Keep focusing on that. And yeah, bravo on how you handled the talk with your in-laws. I'm so glad the talk went well.

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    1. Thanks Megs! I feel really good and have a lot of positivity right now.

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  6. Such wonderful news that sharing your journey with your in-laws went so well. I am dreading the conversation with my in-laws when we see them over Christmas break, but your experience gives me hope. I know what you mean about feeling renewed hope. I already feel that way about IVF, since our chances with IUI's are so low. Really hoping that you have a little Mickey or Minnie (or both) growing with you for your February trip.

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    1. Thanks Marcy Im so glad it went well too. Trying something different always helps renew the hope.

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  7. I'm so glad it went so well with your family! You have so much to be excited for! Enjoy it! ...and have a blast in the happiest place on earth!!!

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    1. Thanks! I'm sure no matter what we will have a wonderful time in Disney!

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  8. Ahhhh, this post makes me so happy! I can hear your joy and your hope in your writing and I'm so happy for you :) And Disney World!! Sounds awesome!

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    1. Thanks Kristine! I'm so glad you can hear it because I really am full of joy!

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  9. I'm so glad sharing with your in-laws went well! Such a relief, I'm sure, and it's always great to have the extra support. Disney world?? Super jealous!

    Sometimes you have to forget about the maybes, and just enjoy the joy of the moment. You're right, this might not be the cycle for you - but right now, you're filled with hope and you deserve to enjoy that feeling.

    Best wishes for you and your hubby! So many exciting things in the future!

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    1. It really couldn't have gone any better than it did. Disney was like a cherry on top! I'm definitly going to enjoy the moment!

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  10. Yay for Disney World. What a great fun distraction. Glad the talk with your inlaws went well. Have fun!!!

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    1. Thanks I can't wait.. Im a planning queen :)

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  11. Thank you so much for the solidarity and kindness. I am sending all the hope I can with you for this IVF, and I hope your little mouse is growing like a weed by the time you take your trip. I'm thankful your in-laws reacted so well, and that you have this trip to look forward to without worrying about money. xx

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    1. Thinking of you Anne hope you are hanging tight. Thanks for thinking of me too!

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  12. Yay, Disney! Yay for supportive parents! I never understand when I hear people say that they didn't like their trip to Disney. Something is seriously wrong with these people.

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  13. so glad the conversation went well! and even better you are going to disney world!! wahoo!

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