Friday, November 22, 2013

What Would You Like To Do With Those Maybe/Could Be Embryos

IVF paperwork is bucket loads of fun ya'll.

You have to play this game the entire time.. it goes like this:

"If your body works properly and you make lots of embryos what would you like to do with them- a) destroy them, b)let the labs research them or c) donate them to other infertile couples."

This makes you have to go over a bazillion outcomes and emotions in your mind.. and not just your mind, but your spouses mind so its like a bazillion times a bazillion amount of possible, probable, maybe, could be.. out comes.

I was all for option C for a multitude of reasons. Its hard to envision that we may have these embryo's that we don't need.. but its not that we don't want them. I'm not sure that makes sense to anyone, but myself.. but I suppose that is all that matter.

One thing is for certain- we will not be destroying any possible/maybe embryos. Its not happening and we are both on board for that.

So then you have to think okay how about research? I guess I am okay with research if DH isn't okay with donating or adopting the embryo's. I thought it would require a pretty heavy conversation about donation and adoption.. but it didn't.

We sat around the table and I reread all the options out loud again and DH said- without hesitation or second thought- we will donate or adopt them to other couples.

My heart melted. MELTED.

Then you get to go over paperwork about what happens if you seperate, divorce, someone dies... These are not subjects we broach. For us divorce is not on the table. We once saw this funny Ecard online and promptly sent it to one another.


I know divorce happens for many reasons. Im not insane and I understand that in some cases it really is the best option for some couples, but its not an option for us. So it was weird to have to fill out paperwork about what could be or maybe might happen if we divorce.

Or die... that was fun too.

Inquiring minds- if we divorce any embryos possibly in question will be donated for adoption.

If one of us die the other has full rights to the embryos.

There was a lot of other paperwork to go through, but we did it all and signed all of our consents. We also both had our updated blood work completed.

I don't remember having 6 vials last time they did the full round up of blood work, but that is what they did this time. I don't get queasy normaly, after all I work with blood and what not on a normal basis- but my tech had to walk away for a moment due  to someone passing out in the stall next to me so I got to stare at my vials of blood which were bubbling before me and it kind of grossed me out.

Next week DH will have his updated SA and we will await cycle day one for my SIS test. If my cycle could ever be normal, this would be a wonderful time for it..

Other than that welcome ICLW's- you can catch up on us here, Thanks for stopping by! I have a lot of ICLW to catch up on since being away has me a bit behind in the bloggy world, but I promise I will be by soon to send my love :)

And there is the ever nagging NaNoWriMo... BLAH. I was coming to the end of my story when it happened- I started to hate it and came up with another story that I wanted to write instead. I felt like it was all rainbows and butterflies and I wasn't happy with that. There is still time for me to finish, but I have no idea if that is really going to happen... Ill get back to you all on that one.

And lastly for Thanksgiving Week I will be doing this Week of Thanks Photo a Day Challenge and blogging about them--




You will notice I got it from ModCloth, but I still love the concept especially during the next week :)

26 comments:

  1. Hi from ICLW. And it is so refreshing to hear that stance on divorce. We feel the same way, but people don't understand that marriage isn't temporary.
    Hope NaNoWriMo is going well for you - I'm missing it so much this year!

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    1. Hi I think if you both have the same stance it helps you through anything and everything. Its not like things are always easy, but we took vows and we both took them very seriously. Nano is making me crazy pants lol.

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  2. Hi from ICLW! As someone who has received adopted embryos that were remaining from two couples in the past year, I can tell you it has been the most incredible blessing of our lives. It's been so much more than I had even hoped. I could jump through the screen and hug you and your husband for deciding on this option! :) I wish you the very best in your upcoming cycle. :)

    Liz - http://www.wishingonasnowflake.com

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    1. Thanks Liz! I know its the right choice and I thought I would have to lay out the reasons for my beleifs, but I was so surprised that DH was all for it too! I hope that I have lots of embryos and I hope that I get to help someone else too through our struggles! Best wishes to you!

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  3. I would hope that if my husband and I ever had to make these decisions, we would also choose to adopt any extra embryos to other couples.

    I hope your cycle behaves for you!!!!!

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  4. What a wonderful reaffirmation that you're with the right man to agree on something so huge! Fingers crossed this cycle times itself just right :)

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  5. It's so mind boggling to think about all that stuff isn't it? Donating them to another couple is such a fantastic option, but it did cross my mind for a split second how weird it would be if years later we were walking around town and saw a little kid that looked like us or something. It sounds like you really took the time to consider all options and I do hope you'll have some leftover to freeze!

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    1. Mine too. Its also crossed my mind that no one would want our embryos... (poor self esteem at work).. Im praying we are faced with this though.

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  6. Wow that's so much to think about! Geez!! I am glad you and your DH are on the same page it's so important to be united in all this.

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    1. Im so thankful for that too! It really is a lot to think of.. things you never really dream of.

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  7. I remember having to do those papers before we got started with our RE treatment, and how relieved I was that Jeeves' and I were always on the same page. You pick the right man for you! I hope your cycle will cooperate.

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    1. Its great to be on the right page! If not I imagine it being even tougher than it already is!

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  8. Crazy, so many tough decisions!!! Hope you receive peace about all of them! Hope your DH's SA goes great!

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  9. To me, this is the scariest part about IVF! I can deal with the needles and meds, but all this ethical stuff boggles my mind. So glad you guys are on the same page.

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    1. Yea the ethical stuff is insane especially since there are so many possibilites that they make you confront and you have zero idea of how many you will actually have to confront.

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  10. Ack! Thanks for posting about this so I am forewarned. So happy that you and hubby are on the same page.

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    1. Its mind boggling for sure! Thanks :)

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  11. Yup we had to sit down and talk about it. So many questions. Hoping for great bloodwork results!

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    1. Thanks! Definitely a sit down conversation!

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  12. It's good that you and DH are on the same page. It was the same for me and Mr. Turtle when we talked about the paperwork - we both wanted the same option without talking about it. Although, similar to your case, it is very unlikely we will have leftover embryos. The choices on our form are a bit less specific - in the case of death, we can leave them to the discretion of the surviving partner. I can't remember for sure, but I think they are automatically destroyed in the case of divorce. There may be a clause where we can choose something else - if so we will probably go with adoption, though like you we do not see divorce as an option!

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    1. I think too many people have divorce as an option. If you take it out of the equation its amazing what you can overcome. I can only pray that we have left over embryos :)

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  13. Hey lady, I just nominated you for the Stork Award! Check out my last post for the details!

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