Last night at the wedding I got very crampy. At first I thought I had a stomach ache or ate something bad so I rushed off to the bathroom. I started my period.
A 23 day cycle. IUI 6 is officially over. If I can find any solace at all its that I didn't have to wait the entire weekend to find out the results which alleviates the anxiety attack that was pending.
I also left the bathroom and marched right to the bar and had a glass of wine. Rob and I talked about what we want to do next. Definitely taking two months off. I am going away in November for a girls weekend and I don't want to be fretting over timing and cycling Then comes December and Christmas and I don't need to be stressing out during my favorite season.
We decided that we will go to our consultation appointment with opens eyes and ears and see what they want to do next. I'm pretty sure they are going to recommend IVF and Rob thinks we should do it.
I am not sure what I am feeling right now. Relief that I don't have to wait till Monday and get a call while I am at work and told that this cycle is a bust. Sad that my body can't pull it together. Happy that I have my husband by my side to lift me up. Even happier that my friend Kristien text me and lifted me up in prayer just as I got my period last night.
The wedding was nice. I sounded so awful yesterday saying I couldn't see myself being happy for my friends during their wedding day. Even before my period started I was happy to be there with them. Weddings are a great time to listen to the sermon and reaffirm your vows to one another. Weddings are a beautiful union and my friends through a wonderful party. We laughed and had a great time and I am so grateful to be there to celebrate with them.
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| Rob wouldn't smile... |
I'm off to make a grocery list. Im putting all the focus I have been using on cycling towards eating better and healing both mentally and physically. I have to wait till after my period and then get another ultra sound to be sure my ovaries have decreased in swelling so that I can start running, but today I plan on enjoying the day we were blessed with. Its like a May day here and I want to enjoy every second of it.
Sending you hugs and prayers Kasey! I'm so sorry this cycle didn't work out. I hope the break is good for your mind and soul! As hard as it is to be taking a break, sometimes I think it's really what our hearts need. I'll be thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteIm ready and okay with the break I think its time. My body needs a major detox. Thanks for always checking in and thinking of me. It means the world xo
DeleteI am so sorry to hear about this - you were definitely in my thoughts and prayers these last weeks. I'm impressed you only went for a glass of wine; I probably would have gone for top shelf!
ReplyDeleteLol I probably should have, but I didn't want to end up drunk and emotional haha
DeleteGood for you for having that wine. I'm so sorry. Big hugs to you. BFNs can suck it.
ReplyDeleteAgreed.. the wine helped I haven't been alone yet I think once Im alone the entire thing will sink in. Im so sick of BFNs
DeleteSending you positive thoughts and a BIG hug. Sorry to hear this... I would have gone for the hard liquor I think!
ReplyDeleteLol Rob tried to get me to drink rum but Im overly emotional.. I didn't need to be drunk and emotional haha
DeleteI'm sorry to read this Kasey. The end of a failed cycle is always a punch in the gut. I am glad at least that you enjoyed the wedding with your husband and the glass of wine. Be good to yourself for now and the direction for the future will reveal itself in time.
ReplyDeleteThanks hopefully the next steps we need to take will become clearer and clearer..
DeleteHugs for you Kasey - Glad you could stay positive despite the circumstances. Praying for wisdom as y'all move forward! Hope you get some good rest this weekend and time with the hubs <3
ReplyDeleteThank you Caroline. Im trying to be as positive as I can. Your post definitely helped me.. it wasn't the right cycle it wasn't the one that holds the baby we are supposed to have.
DeleteI'm so sorry this cycle didn't work out! I'm glad you got to have some fun at the wedding! I hope you get some time to relax and enjoy not thinking about cycles over these next 2 months.
ReplyDeleteThank you its going to be hard to go from constantly focussing on my cycle to rerouting my focus... but I need to do it
DeleteI am sorry to here this cycle didn't work. You are in my thoughts! I admire how you are so aware of all the good things in your life! Enjoy your healing time- you deserve it! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThank you Im trying to focus on the good and stay as upbeat as I can.
DeleteYeah I had a Halloween party last night and was like, screw it. I'm not pregnant. Time for whiskey shots. It was a good time. I hope these two months off are relaxing and fun! And you come back to it in January ready for a new plan and rejuvenated. :)
ReplyDeleteLOL sometimes a drink is needed.. I cant wait because in two weeks Im meeting up with some of my best friends for a girls weekend. I know that will help me restart and refresh some.
DeleteI'm sorry for the BFN - they suck. I think it is so great that you're taking a couple of months off. I found my break over the summer very helpful emotionally, mentally, and physically. Thinking of you and hoping the holidays bring you relaxation and peace and FUN. You deserve it.
ReplyDeleteI really need the time to just regroup and pull myself both mentally and physically back together. Thank you :)
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