For the record it was a beyond gorgeous day that we were blessed with here in South Jersey for late October. It was one of those windows opened and let the fresh air in kind of days.
I went to the neck specialist today and for the second time in as many weeks I was told that my stress is adding to- if not causing all together- my pain and muscle spasms. I am honestly feeling a million times better than I was so I have no complaints. I am done with physical therapy, which is really a weight lifted off of my shoulders. Scheduling three additional doctors appointments a week was added stress in and of itself. I'm suppose to continue my stretches, continue stretching, and come back if there is any increase or change in the pain.
The doctor is an older gentleman who I remembered had been ill during my last appointment. When I walked in I asked him if he was feeling any better. At the end of my appointment he said- "Might I ask how you knew I wasn't feeling well? Its very odd for patients to remember that their doctors aren't well and to ask if they are feeling better."
Truth is one of the nurses had told me when I went in that he wasn't quiet himself because he was passing kidney stones. I know how painful those can be so I remembered to ask him how he was feeling It made me feel good to know that me recognizing and remembering that he was in pain and taking a moment to ask him how he was doing made his day.
The appointment left me feeling refreshed. I ran to the grocery store- which is normally a form of punishment because around here there are not too many stores, they are over crowded, over priced and understaffed. But as I turned the corner I ran into a wonderful friend of ours. He gave me a big hug and then walked the entire store with me as I shopped. It made my day.
I put my windows down and drove home and this little guy flew in-
A little lady bug! It was perfect. Lady bugs are good luck and that left me feeling warm and fuzzy. It also helped for when I came home to more construction and discovered this mess-
These are photos of our spare room- nursery to be- summer 2012 when we had construction done originally for our leaks we were given colors to chose to repaint the spare bedroom. We chose light shades of green because its to be a nursery and green works for boy or girl. It makes me a bit sad to think that was over a year ago and there is still no baby to put in the nursery. But it also reminds me that God always has a plan and if there was a baby to put in that nursery right at this moment I would be even more stressed, because baby would be displaced while construction continues.
Im reminded of this song lyric. Its my new plan on dealing with and handling my stress constructively.
I will play this song on repeat when I want to scream. I will take a walk when I want to hide. I will thank the Lord for all the blessings and count them daily instead of wishing for what I don't have. I have myself so stressed out I am officially making myself sick. I don't want to live in physical pain. I need to let some of what I have no control over go and let it be Gods Plan.
Im 10 days post IUI today. I keep thinking positive and happy thoughts. I am hopeful and feel good. I have my beta on Friday and I hope to not test at home at all. I will either have the best phone call of my life Friday afternoon or another round of disappointment- in which case - cue the song lyrics, a walk, and a glass of vino...
