My Hair Tie Moments

I'm pretty sure the title says it all- the biggest side effect I have noticed as of now is that my emotions are completely off the charts. I go from the happiest person alive- laughing and joking and smiling to the opposite end of the spectrum and find myself all out crying and in fits of hysterics. 

My husband is a saint.At some point in time I am going to give him a present for dealing with me and my emotional craziness- I pray that the gift is a baby and it comes in about 9 months nice and healthy :) <3

Here is the low down on the medications- 

I can't decide which one I dislike more this go round. Don't get me wrong- I will take them 100 times over if it means a healthy, happy baby in the end. However, if I am being real-- they do suck. It's not something I would willingly do just for the heck of it.

Menopur- which I have taken in the past is causing the same issues I had in the past. It burns and the gauge on the needle is small so it takes longer to push the medication into the body, which means the burning is prolonged. 

Some say to ice the area, however I was advised by my nurse to try to avoid that so that the medication can disperse. I don't like the burning by any means, but I can deal with it so I haven't been icing at all. 

Gonal-F - This is the new one for me. The gauge on the needle is larger-- so it hurts much worse when you are inserting it into the skin, however the medication get pushed much faster since it is larger making the experience quicker overall than the Menopur.

I've been doing the Menopur first right now- mainly because I have to mix the Menopur and the Gonal-F I have doses already mixed up. So I burn and then the burning goes away because I stab and the stabbing pain takes over and then its all over and I treat myself with a glass of milk and a Hershey Kiss Cherry Cordial. Nom nom nom. 

So for the hormonal rage- Rob and I have come to call them my  "Hair Tie Moments"- 

On Saturday my Mom text me and asked me if I was working. I was in the midst of tying my hair up since Rob and I were heading out to run errands and it was raining. The second she saw I wasn't working she called me. I ended up leaving my hair tie on the bathroom sink and walking down stairs. When our conversation was over Rob and I left for our errands and I never put my hair up. This normally wouldn't really phase me. Sure I may be a tad annoyed that my hair was blowing all over in the rain, but I wouldn't let it throw everything off. 

Well, let me tell you. I was a hot mess. I was so upset that I didn't have this hair tie. I wanted to burst into tears and at that moment I realized I needed to just take a breather and relax it was just a hair tie. Rob and I even laughed over it. Rob told me to- "Chill out Incredible Hulk". So we've been joking and laughing about that since.

On Sunday I text Rob (he was at work) to  tell him about my "Hair Tie Moment" of the day. I figure its best to laugh about it. Sunday I went to Church, came home and promptly relaxed by binge watching Roseanne. 

Little secret- Roseanne reruns are by far one of my most favorite things, because typically they just make you laugh and laugh and laugh. However, on Sunday they played two episodes that have a serious undertone- One the Conner's are faced with a tornado. Now even though I know that the Conner's survive this natural disaster and go on to live another eight seasons, and even though I've seen this episode every single bit of 100 times I found myself crying my eyes out. 

Then of course after that episode Darlene has to have an appendectomy. Goodness me. I was snotting and losing it. What if my kid ever has to have an appendectomy!! Ohhh. 

Like I said Good Gravy!

I text Rob and told him I was sad about the Conner's life struggles and I knew I was crazy for it. Thankfully he laughed with me about it and no one was harmed in my hormonal fits, but I am sure that this is only the begining. 

Other than that I feel okay. A bit bloated and crampy, but okay. 

I go tomorrow for a follicle scan, lining check and blood work. I will be really really happy with 10 eggs for retrieval, but anything over 3 is considered a success and they will move forward with the IVF. Anything over 10 would be amazing. I'm doing my best to stay upbeat and positive no matter what we see tomorrow. Praying that tomorrow we get to see some growth as we move forward in this amazing journey.

Snapped- why dispatchers on Clomid are dangerous beings..

Its hard for me to figure out how much is medication, how much is normal me, and how much is stress- but this cycle's mood swings have been pretty rough.

Im pretty sure that I should come with a disclaimer taped to my forehead-

"Hormonal Rage Ahead" 

I was working the other day and someone called 911 screaming and cursing at me because I asked what they need the ambulance for.

Normal Kasey can calmly defuse the caller-

Hormonal basket-case Kasey reprised a starring role in "Snapped- dispatcher on Clomid loses her shit"

I just could not, would not, deal with this guy cursing at me.  I screamed right back at him to stop cursing at me. I dispatched his ambulance and then - I cried. Like weeped.

I know that I shouldn't have yelled at him- but for the record he had it coming.

I was crying so hard I was sobbing and my poor male partner stared at me with the "WTF" glow in his eyes.

I sobbed that I was going to be on an expose on 60 Minutes and Barbara Walters was going to be talking about how I am a terrible person cause I snapped on a 911 caller.

Then I started sobbing because I was sobbing. Crying because "I don't know why Im crying".

No joke.

I then went outside to calm down and at that point I started cracking up. I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Hysterically laugh at myself.

My poor partner was staring at me when I walked in with hysterical bouts of laughing.

He was a trooper- though Im sure he went home to his wife and hugged her extra hard. Then they probably held hands and prayed for my poor husband lol.

Luckily he has been spared my insanity so far- thats because we are basically working opposite schedules right now.

Good planning on his part.

Tomorrow morning is my follicle scan. I hope that there is good news and these crazy mood swings start to dissipate.

If not be sure to catch me on my "Snapped" or "60 Minutes" episodes.