The Good and The Bad.

I have so much going on in my head that I need to spill forth so if this is everywhere all at once I apologize for the roller coaster. 

Lets start with the good-

I have my follicle scan yesterday. There are still 12 follicles growing, and there may be more that they cant see because my left ovary is in a difficult spot to view behind my uterus. They are still growing small most right around 12 mm right now, but they are growing together and that is a good thing. 

My lining is also at 9mm which is really good and by the time we get to transfer it should certainly be into the double digits which is an amazing lining to place a little embryo snugly into.

I still don't have a retrieval date. I go for another scan on Monday and they said we should be able to set up a retrieval day at that point. My doctor yesterday thinks Wednesday or Thursday. Either way I am so ready. I'm continuing with 225 Gonal-F, 225 Menopur, and Ganirelex along with .25 Dexemethesone. 

My best friend was able to come with me to my appointment and we did some shopping afterwards and share a lovely lunch. I bought a new outfit, which essentially is sweat pants and thermal shirts. My idea was to be warm and comfy for my retrieval. While in line a woman who was obviously pregnant was behind us. I took that as a good sign instead of viewing it as something bad. While checking out the cashier also commented that the clothes were super soft- which was key in my choosing them so I think that was also a win. 

Crush from Finding Nemo! He's so cool :)

I also went to Vikki Secret and bought new under wear. I found undies with turtles on them. Many of you, I am sure, are familiar with turtles as a sign of fertility. I also have a certain affinity for turtles. I thought it was awesome when the cashier commented on my turtle under wear. I just took all the little things as signs that things are going just how they are supposed to! 

Squirt from Finding Nemo! I hope to be growing my own little squirt soon:)

So that was the good. Everything with our IVF is moving forward- albeit slowly- but continuing in forward motion. Thank you for all of your continued support and prayers for our cycle. I feel like this is it- I feel positive and happy. I feel like we are in the right place for us right now. Other than the fatigue and bloat I do not feel bad at all. Things are going so well. 

Now for the bad- A long time coworker and a true friend was found dead at the age of 42 yesterday morning. Kevin J. Seybold was a paramedic for NJ -Medic 2335 and a Fire Fighter for the City of Camden. Kevin was more than that though- Kevin was a father to his beautiful, young daughter Taylor. Kevin was a God Father, Brother, Cousin, Uncle.... Kevin devoted his life selflessly towards others. Long after Kevin left working at the same company as I do he kept up with my life. He would always check in on me, make sure I was healthy, happy, and well. 

RIP Kevin J Seybold

My heart truly broke with the news yesterday. He's so young. He had so much more to give. Apparently Kev hadn't been feeling well for a few days and yesterday he didn't show up for work- which is not like him- so they sent a friend and coworker to his home where they found him dead at home. 

I know that he isn't in pain any longer. I know that he is looking down on all of us and willing us to stop our crying. I know that Kevin saved lives during his time here on earth and I know that Kevin will continue to inspire us long after he is gone. 

Kevin - I hope you can see how many people you have impacted. I hope you know that your spirit and your ability to always make us laugh will live on in all of us. 

God needed another Fire Fighter 

So its been a difficult weekend. I've had wonderful moments this weekend, but they are so clouded with my grief. This is the the fourth coworker in less than a year that we have had a lay to rest. Its a sad remember than as we all quest for life-- death continues on as well. Our lives are not guaranteed here on this earth. Its so important to cherish what we have-- you just do not know what tomorrow will bring.