Super Relaxed Snapshot Sunday~

So my best friend was texting me this morning that she didn't want to scrub her floors.

And I was saying how I didn't want to weed the garden. 

We did this instead- 

and it was amazing! 

And then this lady left her 1month old in her car..

Yesterday this happened.

To summarize a women left her 1 month old baby strapped into the car seat in the back of her car when she went to shop at - BABIES R US. 

This happened in the town I work EMS in. I am very thankful I was not working because there is a chance no doubt in my mind if I was on this call I would have found this woman and gave her what for. 

I also would have had grave difficulty putting the baby down. The baby was in serious condition and transported with EMTs and Medics to the area hospital.

I am not nieve. I am sure accidents happen. She may have been sleep deprived and shut the door, walked into the store- FULL OF BABY ITEMS -and in that instant she should have went running like a lunatic back to her vehicle to get the baby. 

If it were not for a good citizen who was passing by and saw this was wrong and called 911 this could be a sadder story. The worst part is the mom did not come right out.. they had to wait awhile for mom to reappear and arrest her on child endangerment charges. 

Seriously. I would have lost my marbles on this woman. 

If I wasn't treating the baby and had the chance or I was a passerby of the situation I would have went running into the stores until I found her. 

When I found her in Babies R Us I would have asked her the name of the store she is in. Does she have a baby? Where is that baby right now? 

Oh ya. Locked in your car -literally cooking!! 

Do you know what I would give to have a baby? Do you know how many friends I have that would give the same to have a baby? To love a baby? 

Do you know how many people in this world struggle every single day with the inability to have a baby? 

And you just lock yours in a hot car? You didn't think as you were passing isles of baby items about where your baby was? 

I would probably have lost my job. I would probably have been crying. I would have been begging for them to let me care for this child. 

This is just proof that even though your uterus works just fine it doesn't mean you are fit to be a mom. 

And just because my uterus doesn't work it doesn't mean I am not fit to be a mom. 

I pray for this baby. I hope he/she grows up healthy and strong and loved and is never forgotten about in a car again. 

I pray for this woman. I hope that she realizes what a gift she has. I hope she never forgets another child in a car or anywhere for that matter. 

It really just baffles me. I know I am not a mother yet. I know that things will happen and I too will make mistakes- but I am positive that had I shut that door (which I really don't think I would ever be that sleep deprived to do) -but lets just play along- the second I walked into the BABY store to buy my BABY items I would have went running back to my vehicle. 

I would have held my child and cried. I would have been so scared of what could have been. 

I really am thankful I wasn't there. Even more thankful that passerby was and did the right thing and that patrol broke the window and got the baby out.. that medics and emts treated the baby and that I know that child is in good hands at our local hospital. 

I hope the publicity of this story in our area will help prevent someone else from doing the same thing. 

I hope something good comes from this. 

Where o' where is AF..

Still no sign of AF. 

Its like Cycle Day 1 (aka my hope) is taunting me. 

(Come out, come out wherever you are..) 

I have tested every part of 20 times. 

20 BFN's.

This morning I had a Beta drawn. Its my first day of vacation. I am basically positive I am not pregnant.   Im also positive that while we are out running errands today- which includes a trip to Walmart- I will be standing at the checkout when they call and tell me its negative- and I realize this logic is silly- I will still have some sort of emotional outburst. 

You see its one thing to "know" your not pregnant. Its another thing for your nurse to "tell you" your not pregnant. 

I wish I had something enlightening and hopeful to say, but I just don't have it. 

I do know that what is meant to be will be and I really have no control over it. 

Also if the nurse calls and says Im pregnant while I am at Walmart Im pretty sure I will pass out and I do hope my friends on the EMS crew in town just let me be lol. 

In happy good news- today I weighed in with Weight Watcher's and I am -2.6 lbs. 

So my first goal is to lose 10lbs and Im 2.6/10

So yay. Weight Watcher's works when you work Weight Watcher's. 

Yesterday was a completely GF free day too and this morning I only had 8oz of coffee and guess what I am not shaking in a corner :) 

Hopefully Cycle Day 1 comes out from wherever its hiding. I have never wanted my period to start so bad in my life. 

If you've seen AF send it this way.. 


*Update my nurse just called my beta is negative. I will wait it out for a bit and call them next week to schedule an appointment to discuss brining AF back if she's still MIA. Thankfully I was still at home and not at Wally World AND I didn't have a breakdown.. 

All the little things..

I've been working on my lifestyle changes a lot lately. Things are slow going, but any progress is moving forward… and I am making progress.

My first step to tackle getting myself back on track was rejoining Weight Watcher's. I don't know what it is about tracking my meals that holds me accountable, but it does. I unjoined Weight Watcher's when the Mr. lost his job. For financial reasons I chose to stop paying that bill especially since I wasn’t following the plan to begin with. I decided this week since we are in a more stable financial situation right now- that I needed to rejoin Weight Watcher's and track and work on small goals starting now. Not continue to put it off because I'm preparing for a mediated cycle. Following that logic things have been a downward spiral...

I also need to cut back on my coffee intake. Both my acupuncturist and my RE advised me that I should not be drinking as much coffee as I do. This is really difficult for me because I truly do enjoy my cups of coffee daily. I usually have two 16oz cups. This week I have started to have two 8oz cups and my continued plan is to cut that back to two 4oz cups and so on and so forth until I don't "need" coffee- I just enjoy it on a rare occasion. I don’t plan to go decaffeinated. It doesn’t make sense to me. If I’m going to enjoy a cup of coffee I want to enjoy the real deal.

My acupuncturist asked me to cut my usual daily glass of wine out to occasional. I made Pineapple Sangria last week-I enjoyed every sip I had- and haven't had anything since. This is easier for me now that I am back to tracking on Weight Watcher’s as well. A daily glass of wine is equivalent to breakfast- and I would much rather have breakfast. Also- when discussing finances I can’t say I can’t "afford" Weight Watcher’s when the monthly fee is comparable to a bottle of wine. If I can afford a bottle of wine then I can afford Weight Watcher's.

My gluten freeness has been going pretty well. I do feel better. I'm not super strict with being gluten free, I just try to not have gluten as the main part of my diet anymore- lets face it I am super Italian and am married to a super Italian- there is no way I could ever be completely gluten free unless I absolutely had to be. Since I do feel better I plan to stick with the minimal gluten free diet I have been doing and enjoying my wine and pasta on rare occasions.

I have been religious about getting enough water in. Right now I am on a water with lime kick. It always helps my weight loss when I am drinking enough water so that has been my focus lately. I have better mentally clarity, clearer skin and have shinier hair when I am hydrating enough. All things that you can notice right away and helped me to kick the diet root beer addiction. I’ll still enjoy a random diet root beer, but I don’t have anymore in my home so it will have to be when we go out and when I can find it while we are out- super rare!

I have a small weight loss goal set of 10lbs and a an intermediate goal of 20lbs. My ultimate goal is 42lbs which is very doable. About two years ago I lost 60lbs and over the stress of TTC and IF I gained almost 40lbs back. So basically I was 2lbs away from my long term goal before I totally lost my way. All these little changes are going to help me stay on the right track now. No more excuses- no more stress eating and feeding my IF junk food. If my IF and stress are hungry I’ll feed them water.

I have been walking a lot lately too. I'm not supposed to run during this upcoming cycle so I have been focusing on nice long relaxing walks. I've been taking Swish our mini doxie with me on the bike trail and he has been loving it. Normally we just walk him around our development and he basically terrorizes our neighborhood. He is a completely different dog when we walk the bike path. He doesn’t bark at every passing bike or runner. He doesn’t shy away from other dogs. He seems happier on the trail and so I have been trying to get him out there almost every day.

My upcoming stay-cation starts on Friday.(Why does Friday feel so far way!!) I have 17 day off and I plan on working on everything listed about and hopefully start this next cycle. My stay-cation was planned around cycling and upcoming doctors appointments galore. I wanted to minimize my stress and this is one of the best ways I can think of. Hopefully AF arrives any moment now so it all goes as planned. Today I didn’t pack any panty liners or Tampax- surely that will bring AF on right?

I have one more thing I need to work on and I was gently reminded by this Psalm passage –thank you Caroline for your passages they are always so relatable-

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious,

slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse,

nor will he harbor his anger forever;

he does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities."

So what I plan on working on during my stay-cation is letting go. I have a serious "letting go" issue. I have some pent up anger that I have been harboring that needs to just go away. I also have some people in my life that are constantly negative and its time to let them go as well. No more negative junk clouding up my life. If you can't live your life without destroying others than I need to let you go. So good riddens drama and anger. I’m using a mental image of my anger floating away like a helium balloon- up, up, up – until it is unrecognizable. My plan for the negative people in my life is to not feed into it. Walk away from the back stabbing, don’t reply to the hurtful words, and don’t feed into anything that feels remotely like drama.

The Mr and I also have some pretty intense things to work on during my stay-cation. The main thing being the possibility of us having to move somewhere for him to find work. Surely he could change his career, but like he says he is a Paramedic and its a part of him. It is what he wants to do. I'm pretty open to the idea of moving and if its something that is going to be a part of our future we truly need to map out the logistics- benefits and downsides to moving. Included in this is finding new doctors and treatments if this one doesn't work and moving away from both our families.

So I have a lot of little things that are all working together for one common goal- our future. I think much of life is piecing all these little things together to make your future better, or brighter or happier. Hopefully things will come together easier and hopefully this upcoming cycle will lead to the future we are looking for.

Hopefully answers reveal themselves the way they often do.

Hopefully.

The time a medication change made me lose my mind..

So you may remember I had different medications delivered than previously discussed with both the RE and the pharmacist.  

Previously they discussed Gonal-F and Menopur- which at the time I was a little concerned with because almost everything I researched about these two medications lead to IVF and I was having an IUI this cycle. 

So its not that these weren't the medications that were delivered that is my problem. My problem is that I am the one that is going to injecting, ingesting and inserting into MY body. I feel I deserve to know exactly what I am taking and have ample time to research and discuss any and all medications with my pharmacists, my friend Google, my Mom, and the watermelon sitting on my table. That is my right since as I said its MY body.

So when different medications were delivered I was peeved. 

I waited two days to call the RE because I am a big old emotional disaster zone under normal circumstances let alone when I am annoyed. 

They said they discussed the first protocol with the pharmacy and opted to try Menopur soley first. 

Which is fine with me, but, and I made them fully aware of these feelings, you need to tell me these things. 

I was just annoyed that they changed things without telling me and just had them delivered on my door step. To me thats a load of junk. 

Thankfully I have researched Menopur and I am fine with it- in fact after calming down and being a rational human being again- I am glad its not Menopur and Gonal-F. It makes more sense and gives me more options for down the line. 

I guess my first thought was just instant anger, because I like to be active in what is going on in my body. In my mind when you change something- then something must be wrong. 

So no that its all sorted out and I calm I am just awaiting the start of my cycle. Which previous months has been short and now its long. I've tested a bazillion times and I am BFN x bazillion. So I think that its just waiting to rear its ugly head whenever it damn well pleases. 

Snapshot Sunday~ kayaking adventure :)

I spent the day kayaking down the river with some of the best friends a girl could have. It was gorgeous out :) 

My AcuGraph Results

All about my AcuGraph-

The AcuGraph shows each individuals relative energetic balance in each of the acupuncture meridians and the relationship between the meridians.

The results don't show disease, but more so imbalances of energy. The practitioner's goals are to correct the imbalances; thus correcting any symptoms or problems you already have.

Each acupuncture meridian is tested for energy. The result of this is a frequency which gets measured on a scale. I'm not completely sure the top end of the scale, but on the graph I was given the highest number is 200 and the lowest is zero. My results were all over the place ranging from 12 to 138. Under 52 is considered low energy, over 63 is considered high energy.

My pie graph of all my meridians..

There is so much information on this hand out- if I were to type is all I would be here all day.

　

Basically- there are different meridians measure to be associated with different body regions.

Each region and my actual results..

-Lung- mine is considered high and what sticks out most to me on the list of excessive energy in the lung meridian is allergies and emotional issues with worry and grief.

-Small Intestine- mine is considered split (one side high and one side low) and what sticks out the most to me for split energy in this meridian is disturbances in the digestive system and urinary system.

-Large Intestine- mine is considered low. What sticks out the most to me with deficient energy in this meridian can be associated to digestive issues, problems with the teeth, congestion and coughing issues, issues with the neck, and emotional issues with letting go of the past.

-Spleen- which is high. Excessive energy in the meridian that sticks out most to me is menstrual disorders, digestive and urinary issues, and feelings of worry.

-Liver- which is considered low. Deficient energy in this meridian can be associated with menstrual disorders or issues, dry or blurry eyes, and emotional issues with frustration, tension and depression.

-Kidney - which is considered low. Deficient energy in this meridian can be associated with issues with reproduction, hormonal imbalances, conception, pregnancy, and menopause. Emotional issues with depression and issues with will power are also associated.

-Bladder- which is considered high. Excessive energy in this meridian can be associated with back pain, urinary issues, and emotional issues with holding grudges.

-Gallbladder- which is considered low. Deficient energy can be associated with issues with the eyes, neck, and emotional issues of stubbornness and lack of courage.

-Stomach- which is considered low. Deficient energy can be associated with gastrointestinal issues, issues with the teeth and emotional issues of anxiety.

-Pericardium- which is considered split. Split energy can be associated with digestive issues and emotional feelings of depression, anxiety and restlessness.

-Heart- which is considered split. Split energy can be associated with speech impairments and disorders of the throat as well as emotional issues with lack of joy and heartache.

-Triple Energizer is the only meridian which was considered in a normal range.

　

Like I said there was a TON of information that I didn't include because it didn't stand out to me. The most glaring was the kidney being low and its relationship with pregnancy.

Its all very interesting to me and I hope that putting these different meridians back in balance helps.

All I know is it can'
t hurt.