Friday, August 30, 2013

Perfect Moment Monday~ In This Moment

I know. I know exactly what you are thinking-

Errrhh Kasey- its not Monday lovey.

You take too many meds today? The hormones totally getting to you?

No no.

And-

I know. I know.

But I was out blogging about today at work. Catching up with everyone after being on vacation and hunting out new blogs that I haven’t read just yet. I was looking at the blogs on ICLW for September and happened to stumble upon this beautiful post by Kelly at Airplanes From Heaven.

Which I just absolutely adored and in turn lead me here to Lori- Lavender Luz

And what can I say- other than I fell in absolute love with this idea.

What is the idea exactly? Well to quote Lori directly-

"Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between."

What a wonderful idea. Creating a perfect moment in the midst of the crazy is how I look at it. There is so much sadness, stress, and grief that often times we casually glance over the glee, love, and life that surrounds us on a daily basis. We don’t mean to- its just easier to become all consumed in that which is tugging at our inner most heart strings instead of zeroing in on the gentle reminders that there really is good around us.

Often times I become super focused on TTC and forget to live this life in this very moment. Even though we aren’t where we thought we would be at this time in our lives we are here in this moment and its made up of so much special. I don’t want to look back on this time and think of it and not be grateful for the times I have with my husband now. The before baby(ies) time. The go where we want, when we want, without thinking twice time.

(Don’t get me wrong- I would give up this child free life in a nano second in favor of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, and every solitary single happy moment they will bring to my life.)

So that’s why Perfect Moment Monday struck a particular cord with me. It sings to me. It opens my heart and its touches into my soul. There is a song and the lyrics are coming to my mind…

That being said- for my perfect moment Monday I closed my eyes and thought of the week that has just passed. I thought about each day that has passed this week and what/where it brought me.

When I opened my eyes what stuck with me most was Sunday night. It was my last day of my 17 day vacation. I should have tucked myself into bed like a good little girl and got a good nights sleep for my return to work. Instead my husband and I –the super homebodies in our group of friends- tossed on some clothes and headed out for dinner, drinks, and cards.

I was 1 day post IUI and I know I should have avoided the drinks, but I avoid so much already. Its not like I went off the deep end and drank myself into a wild stupor – rather I had a couple drinks and laughed with my friends.

For a moment infertility was not front and center in our lives. We did not talk about IUI’s or cycle days or babies- nope not once. I didn’t even want to bring up the subject. It wasn’t on the tip of my tongue. We played cards and laughed until way later into the night then I should have. I ate gluten and didn’t think twice. I had dessert and didn’t count the calories.

I smiled and laughed more than I have in months. I left feeling refreshed and renewed and happy. I was totally in the moment. I was not thinking backwards or forwards, but rather I was present. Living in the moment.

Since my IUI I have been really trying to focus on the positive. I think I want to add living in the present into my plan as well. I’m always teetering one way of the other. Looking forward to the future- the end of my 2 week wait, the end of the month, the next cycle day 1, being pregnant, having and holding a baby… or looking back where we have been, passed cycles, could have, would have, should haves…

There is no balance in doing that. You are either teetering forward or teetering backward instead of staying balanced. Dominic the acupuncturist is always telling me I need to lead a life of balance. Balance work, play, life, future, past- balance.

It goes along with the "just relax" concept that so many try to shove down our throats. I don’t know how many times I have said- that’s easier said than done. Instead of trying to "just relax" I want to lead a life of balance.

There will be happy days and bad days and rough moments and moments of joy. Its life. Sometimes I won’t be able to relax and other times I will be floating around on cloud nine. As long as it all balances out in the end- well that is what matters most to me.

So I love this Perfect Moment Monday concept. Im so happy I stumbled across it today. Focusing on the present. Living in the moments that make up our life now. Its okay to look forward and its okay to reminisce on the passed- its not okay to not live and enjoy today.

And while Monday was far from perfect for me - rather it was a rough first day back to work on little sleep, bloated on foods I don’t normally eat, and achy from laughing the night before- I survived. I enjoyed myself.

In the moment my friends. We need to remember to stay in this moment and balance out our lives.


*Please note I missed the oppurtinity to link up to the Perfect Moment Monday posts, but I awnted to continue forward with my post none the less. Hopefully Ill be able to catch it in time next month!

6 comments:

  1. This is so true. It is very difficult to live in the moment when you want what the future has to bring (or at least you hope you do!). I have been thinking a lot about this as well. I don't want to look back on our TTC years and feel nothing but bitterness about wasted time that my husband and I had together. We are in the prime of our lives! We need to live, travel, explore, socialize and have fun!

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    1. Completely agree. Its so much easier said than done, but I want to focus more on living and loving today. Im sure I will love the future too, but I don't want to look back either and hate these years.

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  2. I love this. It didn't even take a second for me to think of mine.. And though I've had a rough day, it definitely helped. Thanks for sharing, and woohoo for good nights :)

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    1. Im so sorry you had a rough day Anne. Hopefully even for a moment you were able to think of the good stuff. Thinking of you hope you have better days ahead!!

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  3. Great post. I'm glad you are appreciating the good times and good moments. Good luck for your fertility journey and I really hope you get that baba soon. Oh, and thanks for the comment on my blog. :)

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